Painful Thoughts And Memories

Temporary Death

I can no longer close my eyes and fall into a temporary state of peace, I don't remember what it's like to have this feeling,
Everything is a daze in the hours of the sun I don't understand it, the time of the moon is my time to twist around all my obstacles,
Is there a way to solve my deprived bodies problems? Can I shut off these thoughts and close my eyes for good? Does anyone feel this pain?
I move and move over and over for hours on end and nothing happens not a single sigh or stretch or yawn, I just lay here and hope I will find my bliss somehow,
Whatever happened to my mind being clear? All these cloud build inside me and it seems they don't lighten, the thicker they are the more hours pass me by and all I do is wait,
Waiting does nothing for me but twist me more, I feel like a pretzel that will never be good enough, why can't I find my bliss? Why must my mind be in storms over the torture of the days to come?
Will I ever feel the sweet sweet bliss of my temporary death ever again? Or will the storm build inside me until it's not temporary anymore?