Luke Hemmings Secret Brother

chapter nineteen

"Can we talk?" I heard someone ask and I saw Luke. "Please?"

"Get out of here, I'm smoking." I told Luke but he wouldn't leave. "Secondhand is worse than firsthand."

"I don't care." He told me and stood in front of me. "Can we talk?" He repeated, his eyes a bloodshot color.

It looked less like he was high, more like he was just crying.

"We're talking right now." I told him, stomping the cigarette out and blowing whatever I had in my mouth away from his face. "What's up?"

"I just wanna apologize." He told me and I shook my head, tapping the tip of my boots against the concrete of the sidewalk I was on. "I'm really sorry."

"You always want to apologize." I told him and he was silent. "You always apologize but it gets us nowhere. Maybe things are chill for a week, but we're back at each other's throats the next, only to repeat the cycle."

"I-I know, and it's my fault because... because I can't get over the fact you're everything I'm not." He told me and I looked at him weirdly.

"Pardon?"

"I mean it. You're everything I'm not and more. You're muscular and smart, and really good at everything you do! You're funny and interesting, not to mention charming and confident. No wonder why you got so close to my friends and girlfriend so fast. You're more like them than I'll ever be." He said, his voice cracking.

"You're not awkward and shy... and bad at keeping up conversations. You aren't just some lanky dude who's mediocre at what they do. You're just so much better than me and I got jealous." He told me, looking me in the eyes as his voice fell into a soft croak. "You're-You're like perfect and... and I'm not."

"I wish I could agree." I said and wiped the tear that fell from his eye. "Is that it? You were just jealous?"

"I was mad and jealous. I thought you were taking my friends from me because they seemed so much more interested in you than me. Then you and Arz... people are saying you guys look more a couple than her and I. I got so mad and I just... I took it out on you and blamed you for shit that wasn't anywhere near the truth." He said and shook his head.

"I wanted a reason to believe you weren't a good person so you didn't have it all... but you're the whole fucking package." He told me and I don't know if I was supposed to feel complimented or what.

"Hey," I said and he wiped his eyes himself. "Why are you crying?"

"Because, I'm fucking pathetic." He said and shook his head. "I'm dumb for getting so worked up over something so trivial. I made such a big deal of this and made you out to be someone you're not all because I was jealous."

"You're a lot of things," I said and he looked at me. "Pathetic is not one, neither is mediocre." I said honestly and he shook his head.

"Don't lie to me Logan."

"I'm not." I promised and he sniffled. "I'm not perfect, not even in the slightest." I told him and he shook his head, not believing me.

I pulled him into a hug, and he buried his face in my neck. "It's okay." I said and rubbed his back. "Don't cry."

"You're just so much better than me Logan."

"Don't say that." I said and he clutched on to my sweater. "You have it all. I'm just some teen with family issues. At least you graduated and have a bomb ass career that isn't going anywhere any time soon." I told him.

"I guess you're right about that..." He said and I ruffled his hair.

"You shouldn't be jealous, especially if you're compared to me. Maybe I look good, but I have so much drama it's stupid." I told him and he shrugged.