Handwritten || s.m

2.2

"Leave me alone,
Get out of my face.
I'm tired and low,
Feeling so misplaced.
Time for you to go,
You know I'm better off on my own, oh."

"Leave me alone,
This isn't going to work.
Don't call me on the phone,
Because I'm all out of words.
I'll face the unknown,
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown, oh.
Leave me alone."

"If you win your love,
I'll feel better on my own,
Leave me alone."

I finish singing my new cover and stop my camera from recording. I didn't feel as if it was one of my best covers, but I edit and upload it anyway. Since I no longer had friends that were willing to hang out as much anymore, it gave me a lot of spare time to upload covers. My fan base was increasing even more by doing so.

I'm not completely alone though. People online are always there to talk to. I ended up creating a Twitter account so I could communicate with my "fans". It feels weird to think that there are people who want to talk to me that aren't Shawn, Rose, Jeremy, and my family.

@RealMe_: 'Q/A anyone?'

The questions flood in very quickly, mostly all the same five:

'When will we get original music?'
'Why don't you sign to a record label already?'
'Who are you?'
'Will you ever show your whole face?'
'Why don't you show your face?'

I start typing out a reply to the questions.

@RealMe_: '@Kelly_Is_Me I've never really thought about original music x'

@RealMe_: '@RealMe.Fandom I'm not ready to be signed :) x'

@RealMe_: '@HollyMackenzie I am the RealMe ;) x'

@RealMe_: '@Jane_Sharp I don't know, I'm like SIA haha x'

The last question I was unsure how to approach. But no one online knows that RealMe is Ellie Harper, I decide to go for it.

@RealMe_: '@laurakelsy everyday I'm bullied, this is my escape x'

As soon as I post the tweet, I immediately want to delete it. The replies cause me to stop. All the nice things that people were replying make me feel emotional. I smile, laugh, and cry all at the same time. There are people all over the world who care about me, and that's enough to keep me going.

I run downstairs and out into the yard. People care about me! What a feeling! I lay down on the grass and look at the clouds. Maybe this will be what will get me through this year; even if I have no one with me physically, I have more or less 2 million people across the globe who love me and my voice. "They care!" I yell to the sky. "Someone cares! Someone loves me...

I look across to Shawn's house and see him looking out his bedroom window at me. I wave, sighing as my mood starts to slip.

"If only he loves me."

--------------------

A/N: SHAWN FREAKING MENDES ANNOUNCED THAT HE'S COMING TO NEW ZEALAND THIS YEAR AND I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD COME AND I AM SO HAPPY I CRIED AND I CAN'T WAIT TILL NOVEMBER I'M GOING TO BUY TICKET AND OOPS PROBABLY SPEND UNI MONEY ON MEET AND GREET TICKETS IF THERE IS A MEET AND GREET BUT IT'LL BE WORTH IT <3

~Melody~