Harry Potter Truth or Dare- The Next Chapter (Contains Cursed Child spoilers)

Was it Sophie or Sophia?

There is a loud silence. The air is vibrating with uneasiness, the calm before the storm. Mira stands alone against a desert backdrop, then a salty sea spray splashes her face, then the rising sun in-

Mira: CUT!

Everyone: *groans*

Mira: I've told you time and time again! You've got to get the sunsrise EXACTLY RIGHT!

Harry: *complaining* Mira we've been at this for a really really long time.

Mira: I'm sorry (not), but it has to be exactly right. We need the promo to show hope and possibility.

James: *background* I'm almost done editing the poster!

Mira: Awesome, awesome! What font is the title?

James: Zapfino.

Mira: James, you are my MAN.

James: *blush*

Hermione: *organised, in her element* Ok so that's the poster check, the trailers almost done-you said this would be the LAST take-and that just leaves-oh

Mira: What? 

Hermione: Well, the actual filming.

Mira: What filming?

Hermione: Isn't Escape from Planet Trump going to have content?

Mira: I wasn't planning on it.

Hermione: Oh. Well then we're nearly done! Just the Hillary or Taylor Swift endorsement left.

Mira: Well one of those is not going to happen and it isn't Hillary because-

Hillary Clinton: Hello there! 

Mira: Honestly I feel like I'm hosting the Daily Show.

*Trevor Noah appears*

Trevor: You said somewhere in the Pacific Ocean? This doesn't look like it.

Mira: *sigh* This wasn't supposed to happen.

*Trump appears*

Mira: Oh for the holy mother of-

Hermione: This is not good. I don't like this guy at all-

Lily: oh my gosh is that a cat? 

*Trump strokes cat, smiling*

Mira: Is there something about this that doesn't add u-

*desperate woman appears*

Desperate Woman: HE GRABBED MY PUSSY!

Mira: I'm done. I am so done. *all the muggles vanish* So the movie was a bad idea. Let's go back to the dare idea.

Hermione: Hmm..nah

Everyone: Nah

Mira: Uh-yeah. But today we have something different. A guest!

Lily: A guest?

Scorpius: A guest?

Mira: Yep! But first we have to rescue Rose and Scorpius from that closet...

1 hour later

Scorpius: Look Dad, I'm gay-

Draco: I'm so done

Everyone except Albus: *try not to laugh*

Albus: *blushes*

Mira: The love is so real here. Now, for the guest. Her name is *reads from placard* Sophia, is it?

Sophi*a*: It's Sophie :)

Mira: Ah, my mistake. Now Sophia is here to do a little...matchmaking.

Sophie: Indeed *cough* Sophie *cough*

Mira: *ignores coughing completely* So go ahead! The girls told me you were a daughter of Aphrodite ;)

James: Wasn't that the goddess of love? You are pretty beautiful, if I do say so myself.

Sophie: Oh James, you flatter me *flicks fingers*

*Sophie launches into song*

Sophie: All is fair in love and war, When I'm done with you, you'll ask for more. *James turns to Hermione, his eyes as hearts*

The pretty lady will become, a tramp compared to a lovely nun. *Hermione glances at Harry slyly*

I can make you wish to god, that you had not been born, the sod. *Scorpius turns to his father, Draco flinches away*
 All is fair in love and war, when i'm done you'll be quite sor-

Mira: OK THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT LET'S KEEP THIS PG.

Sophie: Sorry, I got carried away.

Mira: *Surveys Hermione trying to get away from James by running towards Harry, who bangs into Scorpius who is following his father around like a puppy as Albus and Lily try not to throw up* Good work there, Sophia.

Sophia: *slight eye twitch* Thanks, uh, it's Sophie, by the way.

Mira: *airily* of course, of course. Now could you-uh- fix them?

Sophie: I'll try. *flicks hair*

*Everything turns back to normal*

James: *hands on Hermione's ankles as she kicks him repeatedly* OW

Harry: *edges away from Hermione, a regretful smile on his face as he backs away from Ron too*

Draco: GEROFF ME 

Scorpius: *realises he is trying to eat his father's face* OH MY GOD.

Mira: You're sadistic too.

Sophie: Indeed ;)

Mira: The fun we could have.

Sophie: Unimaginable.

Mira: I'm imagining it, alright. ATTENTION!

*characters salute involuntarily*

Mira: We have one smallish dare before you leave. This one's for the Weasley girls.

*Ginny, Hermione and Rose shiver*

Hugo: Lol

Mira: Don't worry Ginny, I'm still getting over the hippogriff dance. You're safe. For now. Rose and Hermione, you're going to do some singing!

Rose: Well, it could be worse-

Mira: WHILE BURNING BOOKS!

10 minutes later...

Rose: *audibly sobbing* L-let it b-burn, let it b-burn *books go up in flames*

Hermione: *tears streaming down her face as she watches Hogwarts: A history, go up in flames*

Mira: Well that's it for now guys! Have a Trumptastic weekend ;)