Act Like You're in Love {Niall Horan}

Chapter 52: Empty

~Niall's P.O.V.~

I used to be alone. I had the lads, yea, and when I was back home I had my family, but I was always romantically alone. Then Mariah came. I was so spoiled, getting to see her everyday. So basically when I grew to love her I was accustomed to pairing love with time spent together. And now I don't have her, and I feel quite empty.

Zayn is the closest to understanding me because his girlfriend is also in really high demand. Whenever we can actually be in the same location as our girlfriends, there's usually a good chance we don't get to spend a lot of time together anyway.

I really miss Mariah.

She makes me feel whole, like I have everything I need as if she was the last piece of me. I don't have to put on a show for her. Being a typical guy isn't what she's looking for. If I do something wrong, I know it'll be okay because she can handle it. Plain and simple: I just want her, need her, with me. 

One Direction is on our third album now, Midnight Memories. We're touring, and currently we're in South America. It's really cool to be here, but it makes me miss Mariah more because she's Brazilian, and I keep thinking I see her in crowds. I'm going crazy, to be honest. But North America is next. When we're near her, we have a really small break that would enable Mariah and I to see each other a little bit more.

Although I still hold that hope, it hurts to not be with her.

It hurts like a blade is constantly cutting into my heart. It hurts like my lungs are closed after being suffocated underground. It hurts like a thousand bullets are just pushed through me. 

I honestly never thought I would feel like this about somebody. It's so powerful, so intense, and so fascinating. This is what love is. You don't know what love is until you've been in it. Those few teenage romances that I had that I was convinced were love are nothing compared to this. I feel foolish now for thinking it was love before.

"Niall," a voice says as a hand goes on my shoulder, "we have to go." 

My body realizes it had been still in thought and jerks back into motion, zipping up my black suitcase. I stand up and face Liam, holding the handle of my suitcase and tugging it behind me.

"You excited?" Liam asks as we walk out of the hotel room together. 

"'Course I am," I say unemotionally even though I am.

Liam raises his thick, brown eyebrows. "Don't look too excited, mate."

"I'm just..."

"Missing Mariah?" Liam finishes.

"Yeah." 

"Listen, I get it, Niall. And it's comforting in a way that you miss her so much because it shows how much you care for her, but you've got to learn to live without her and just miss her. Right now you're missing her, but you aren't living at all! You're gonna see her soon, so be happy about that!" 

I smile tightly. "Thanks."

Liam sighs, knowing he helped a little but not enough to make me forget her for a little while.

We walked in silence for a moment before I decide that I'm not even trying to feel better. Liam has had a girlfriend that he cared deeply for before -- he might be able to help me. I can try. 

"How did you cope without Danielle?" I finally ask. 

Liam looks startled for a second. "Erm, when I called her every night, she would tell me all about her day. It would interest me, and I'd feel connected to her. Then she'd start rambling on about her dancing, which just confused me because I had no clue what she was talking about. So instead of listening to her words, I just listened to her voice. It soothed me and ingrained itself in my head. She would be on replay in my mind throughout everyday. And since her voice always made me happy, I was always smiling. Now even if that doesn't work for you, there's something that will work, but I know Zayn uses that technique too. Louis might, I'm not sure."

"That's actually kind of cool," I commented, and then I thought back to the last conversation I had with Mariah. 

"The other actress is seriously Jennifer Anniston, yeah! I was frozen when I saw her, like how did I ever end up being an actress with these people?" 

Suddenly her voice was also on replay the rest of my day. 

~

Short again, but Niall's POV in this is important:) 

I realized that my chapters have gotten shorter, so I decided to merge some of my future chapters. This means that we're probably only going to have about 15 more chapters, but I'll let you know the exact number in one of my next A/Ns. 

Thank you just for reading:) xx