The Girl in Blue

12- The Girl Stalls

Sutton

"I'm heading to work," I announce to my sister as I'm putting on my hoodie because it's pretty windy today and the summer weather is officially gone. We were having a blast at the lake just a few days ago but that's all long gone now. Hoodies and fall boots from now on, not that I'm complaining. I even grab my umbrella just to be safe because the clouds are looking gray and heavy so it might start raining soon.

"Okay," Lana and Carmen are sitting on the couch beside me watching an old 80s movie while studying. They aren't studying the same class, they're just studying next to each other in hopes of feeding off of each other's motivation. It's a good strategy, it's worked for me many times. "What are you going to say to Jonah?"

"What do you mean?" I raise my eyebrows at her. "I'm still in the pathetically avoiding him stage."

"Even after yesterday?" She asks me in disbelief. "I mean, he basically kissed you. You should take that as a good sign."

"Are you high?" I wonder because I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about right now. "I didn't even see him yesterday, I avoided him like the plague."

"Oh. So he didn't tell you that he kissed me thinking that it was you?" She says in realization. "Because that happened. You should talk to him."

"He kissed you?" I choke out in disbelief.

"Indeed. It was very romantic," Lana informs me, going back to her textbook to continue her studying as she tells me this story right before I have to go to work. "But he was really embarrassed when I told him that he got the wrong twin so I think that it'd make him feel better about the whole thing if you just talked to him and told him that you want to fuck his brains out so that you two aren't so strung out."

"Fine, I'll ask him out," I decide out loud, causing both of the girls on the couch to stop studying and look up at me with shocked expressions. "What? What's the worst that could happen, right?"

"There's the Sutton that I know," Carmen adds with an encouraging grin. "Go get 'em."

"I'm really going to do it," I insist because I can tell that neither one of them believe me. I really will though. If he wants to kiss me then he obviously likes me back and that kind of sign was really all that I needed to make my move and so I really will ask him out. Today. At work. I can do that.

"The best of luck to you," Lana says teasingly as I'm leaving the apartment. My heart's beating like crazy with every beat of my feet on the sidewalk and my throat is already starting to close up on me as I get anxious about the whole thing though.

And by the time that I actually get clocked in and up to the silent floor to stack books, I'm completely terror stricken and I'm definitely not feeling as motivated as I was a few moments before when I was so sure that I was going to make a move. I can see Jonah on his laptop at the small table by the window that he's always sitting at but I'm looking through a shelf of books so that he can't see me.

I look down at my cart of books and I promise myself that I should get to work but then maybe I can talk to him. I'll go say hi right after I finish shelving the art section, that'll give me enough time to figure out what I want to say and how I want to say it. I can keep reminding myself that he likes me back because that's what it means when somebody tries to kiss you. Obviously, he didn't succeed but he did try.

I shouldn't be so nervous, I should just go talk to him, tell him that Lana told me what happened. But what if he thinks that it was a mistake that he tried to make a move? What if he's changed his mind and I'll go over there and look like an absolute idiot. No. I need to say something. Even if he turns me down, at least I can finally let go of this infatuation I've had on him for some time now and I'll move on.