The Last One

The Last One: Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

How do you know when you love someone? Well, there's your first mistake. You don't know when you love someone. You feel it, like when you feel that it's hot or cold. You just feel it. It's a pull - an instinct, almost. When you're around the one you love, your heart speeds up, you get butterflies, and you may feel self conscious. When you aren't around them, you feel cold and alone. You yearn for their touch and you miss them so much it hurts.

I used to have a wall. I never let anybody break that wall. It may have seemed like I let someone in, but really I was keeping them a good distance away. Nobody got passed that wall. Except for him. He managed to break my wall. He managed to get to my heart, but what do you expect from your mate? We've fought countless times and here we are now, on the brink of completing the mating process. All because of my fucking heat.

That snapped me out. I pulled away, panting heavily. "Xavier, we have to stop." I growled loudly. He growled deeply and ran his tongue over my soft spot. "No, we don't." His chest rumbled. I shook my head. "Yes, we do. Please, just stop." I crawled out from underneath him and got off the bed. I paced back and forth, running a hand through my hair. Xavier sat on the bed and watched me. I needed to let everything out and who better to tell than him? "I have, or had, a wall. I never let anybody in. I pushed everybody away and didn't want them to care about me. I can take care of myself. I know what I'm capable of and when somebody thinks I need help, it makes me feel weak and vulnerable. I don't like feeling weak and vulnerable, because I'm not that." My voice cracked and I cleared my throat.

"I learned how to defend and live by myself. When I got dragged here, I didn't think I'd stay. I didn't want to stay. But after I found out that my mate was the alpha, I wanted to leave even more. I couldn't have anybody to care about me. I thought it'd drag me down further, having a mate, and it did. It made me feel like I could trust again. I can't trust anybody, no matter who it is. Mate or not." I looked up at him and everything came out. "You broke my wall. You managed to get into my heart. I didn't let you in, but you forced your way in. I tried pushing you away, but you were stronger. I couldn't trust a fucking piece of paper, and now I feel like I could trust you with my life. Do you know how many people managed to do that?" I asked, getting pissed. He didn't answer and narrowed his eyes at me and scrunched his brows.

I shook my head. "Nobody! Not a fucking soul! Do you know why? Because I didn't let anybody! I'm so confused on how you actually broke me. As much as it kills me, I love you! I've never loved anybody before. I may have been close to my brother, but I never truly loved him - not like I love you." Xavier shook his head. "Wait, isn't that a good thing? That you love me?" I shook my head and spun around and leaned my head against the wall, covering my face with my hands. "No, it's not. It's not a good thing because I don't want to love anybody. I don't want to be scared to lose somebody. I don't want to be scared of anything." I felt him standing behind me and he put his hands on my waist and nuzzled my neck. "I love you, too. I love you more than anything. I couldn't imagine my life without you, Jezebelle.

You may be hard to understand, but I still love you. You may be stubborn, and sometimes a pain in the ass, but I still love you. I didn't think that the rogue that my Beta brought home would be my beautiful mate. You've slowly become my everything, Jezebelle, and I can't stop that. I want to be with you, I want to love you, I want to protect you, and I just want you." He said with sincerity dripping from his deep voice. He slowly turned me around and pressed me against the wall. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to look at him.

He tilted my chin up and I closed my eyes. "Jez, look at me." He said soothingly, but I didn't. "Baby, please look at me." He whimpered and I slowly opened my tear filled eyes. A tear fell down my cheek and he cupped my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. He softly pressed his lips to mine and pulled away too soon. "I love you, so much, Jezebelle." He said. "I love you, too." I sobbed and he pulled me into his chest. I buried my face into his hard chest and I felt myself being laid down on the bed, but Xavier didn't leave me.