Hate Sex is So Hot

8 - The Eight Step Plan To Get Scott's Dick In My Ass

this chapter is a lot

"Nice name." Kirstie commented. We had to invite her over. Making her uncomfortable with my sex life was probably a hobby of ours now.

"Thanks." Tyler said, and I tapped my pen on the paper impatiently.

"Ok. First off, we need to set the scene. Scott's in our dorm, alone, on his bed. Probably on his phone. Then I walk in. What do I do?"

"You need to look exhausted." Kirstie pointed out. "Like you and Tyler just had a lot of sex." Tyler giggled. I wrote it down with a laugh.

1. walk in. look tired from sex

"Oh! Oh!" He chimed in. "We need to make it look like you have a hickey."

"Ohhhhh, he'll get so jealous." Kirstie added.

"How are we gonna do that?"

She pointed at Tyler. "Get him to do it!" I looked at Tyler, and he shrugged. "I give a lot of friendly hickeys."

2. change shirt. make sure he sees hickey.

"Ask him it's too high up."

"Leave your shirt off when you take it off!"

2. ask him if the hickey is too visible
3. take off shirt.

Tyler grabbed his own pen and started to add number four while I was finishing up number three.

4. take off shirt and put on loose tank top. preferably white, and only boxers. make sure they're cute.

A little heat went to my cheeks, and I checked under my pants for a quick second.
I gave them both a thumbs up.

"Now this is where it gets hard." Kirstie said, and sat back, her legs out and her hands behind her. We were all thinking. Then I got an idea. They both looked at me light up like a Christmas tree.

"Tyler! You pretend to call me! We can talk about how we didn't get to do stuff we wanted, or... 'go as far as we wanted', and I can... um..."

"Yes!" Kirstin interrupted my thinking out loud and took my pen from the floor.

5. tyler calls. talk about not going far enough.

"Ask him to take a picture of your ass for Tyler?"

"No, that's too forward. He'll probably say no."

Tyler turned to me quickly. "Oh my god, talk about how you're horny and stuff. And get upset because - oh my god I'll just write it down."

"I love him. He's a genius." I said to nobody in particular. Tyler and Kirstie both giggled a little bit.

6. say you're horny and stuff. pretend to get upset when i can't come over
7. hang up 

"Can't you just, like, ask him to fuck you at this point?" Kirstin asked. I shook my head.
"No, no, all of his pride is on the line here." I nodded to Tyler. He gets it. I took the pen and thought for a second, then crossed out number seven and moved it around.

7. mention that i could come like right now
8. hang up

The two gasped in realization at my genius. If there was a chance to get another point, he'd be all over it. I hoped. It was a little bit of a risk, but if it didn't work, at least I could play it off as just me being horny.

There was just one problem, though. I'd need not come until he fucked me.

Jesus. Since when were these the kinds of problems I had with Scott Hoying?