Hate Sex is So Hot

29 - Commitment Issues

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Chicken nuggets have never tasted this good. Or maybe I've just never wanted them this badly until now.

Scott was acting so carefree, and happy... it had been so weird to see him teaching us how to do that type of thing, just... considering the side of him I've seen now. But he was giggling and talking about pop culture like we were best friends.

Kirstie was walking a little ahead of us when we made our way back, and I felt the awkward silence weighing me down for only about a second before he spoke.

"Have you ever considered... suicide?"

I looked at him, a little startled.

"Uh... hasn't everybody?" I tried to make it sound casual. He just nodded, not looking at me.

"Yeah."

"You aren't gonna... hurt yourself or anything, are you?" I wondered out loud, and he laughed half heartedly.

"Ah, n-...no, not before I have the chance to be on TV." He tried to joke. I just continued to look at him.

"Promise me you won't... do something like that, ok?"

"Why do you care so much?" He said, still smiling a little. I just narrowed my eyes.

"Because I... a lot of people care about you, and I don't want you to waste your life like that."

"Since when do you care about me?" He mumbled. I grabbed his hand and stopped in my tracks, causing him to finally look at me.

"What is your problem?!"

This caused Kirstie to stop and turn back, as I had elevated my voice a little. His eyes were wide, and staring into mine.

"What?"

I didn't even attempt to calm myself down, and just continued to yell. "You act like you're my best friend one minute, and then like you hate me the next! If you seriously didn't mean that deal with Travis, then this has been going on since the beginning of the year! What is it?! Do you really hate me that much?! Are you trying to mess with my feelings now, too?!"

"Guys-" Kirstie interrupted, but Scott interrupted her and stepped closer to me.

"I've been doing my best, Mitch." He said, obviously furious but not yelling, like I had been. "I've been doing my best to keep you content and off my ass about all of this. But you just keep-"

"Off your ass?! You're the one that made that stupid fucking deal with me!"

"Mitch, Kirstie's-"

"I know Kirstie's right there! And I don't care if she hears anything I'm saying right now! You can't just keep playing with my feelings like this and then start a... basically become my friend with benefits, except without the fucking friend part, obviously. So what is it?! Were you just using me for sex?! Is that what it is?! Or not, because just like, five minutes ago you were being perfectly nice to me again!"

He walked up to me fast, so that our faces were nearly touching, and grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled it up. But before he could do anything... I yelled out one last thing on impulse.

"Quit it with the tough guy act! Why can't you just be yourself around me?!"

The anger seemed to drain from his face, and he almost looked... innocent for a second.

"I am being myself. I just like messing with you. Quit being an idiot, I don't actually like you."

It felt like someone... stabbed me in the heart, with a ton of huge needles. I couldn't even breathe for a second, and I didn't even fully comprehend what I was doing until I saw my hand inches from his cheek, and then...

I slapped him.

He stumbled back, obviously a little shocked, and almost looked angry until he met my tearful eyes, and his face softened.

"Mitch, I-"

"You're a liar." I spoke over him. "You're just afraid of commitment."

Maybe I was just in denial, but I stormed off with those words anyways. Kirstie stood for a second, dumbfounded, before grabbed my hand.

"Hey, Mitch-" She tried to comfort be obviously, but I really just wasn't in the mood. I jerked away.

"Go... go comfort Scott." I said, loud enough for him to hear. "He needs you. I have Avi."