Hate Sex is So Hot

15 - Graveyard

the chapter is only called that because i listened 2 mitch's graveyard cover when writing most of this rip

I really had judged Avi too harshly.

We had gone back to his room, where he rubbed my back and listened to me vent. His eyes went wide when I explained and I could see the obvious shock and anger behind his eyes. I was too drunk to consider that he might have been in on it too, but now I'm sure that he wasn't.

He let me fall asleep in his bed and rubbed my head like I was a little kitten. I woke up to see him with a small makeshift bed on the floor, and as I downed the Advil and water that was left beside the bed for me I went over last night in my head.

I stood up and nudged him with my foot. "Avi?"

After a little bit of stirring around, I saw his slowly flutter open. He looked around before looking up at me and seemingly collecting his thoughts.

And the first thing he said was, "are you ok?"

I couldn't help but smile a little, and I responded in a whisper.

"Yeah. Just dumb boy problems."

He lied back and looked up at the ceiling, taking a breath. I could see him thinking through the look in his eyes; and so I just sat up. Unfortunately that disturbed his thought apparently as he turned to me. I just nodded my head to the door.

"I have to get clothes and stuff."

I could see his mouth open as if he was going to offer something, but he closed it and nodded with a little sly smile.

And I walked down the hall; and my prayers were answered apparently, because the room was empty. Sitting down on my bed I just thought for a second. My phone was blowing up with messages from Kirstie; apparently Avi told her to check on me.

Kirstie: 2 missed calls
Kirstie: 7 missed texts
Scott: 10 missed calls
Scott: 22 missed texts

Glaring at the screen i clenched my hand, just staring at it for a second. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me read or listen to his messages. I didn't know the whole story, and I didn't want to.

I stood up and felt tears come to my eyes as I tore down that dumb scoreboard from the wall. And I texted Kirstie, because I really needed her right now.

-

"Alex, he's one of Scott's newer friends... they're really close, and I think they used to date."

I gritted my teeth and nodded. So that was the jackass he was in on it with. Scott had told all his friends about me, and they dared him to woo me. That's what I'd gotten so far. How long was it for? Probably the whole time. Probably even before that dumb game started. Shit, he probably wasn't even a virgin! He must have had sex with that dumb stupid Alex.

-

I needed a rebound. I knew I did. But Kirstie, Tyler and Avi wouldn't let me get drunk again.

At school, I sat outside by the tree with Tyler's friends and my friends. But I guess they were all my friends now. We all went out on the weekend and I spent so my money on clothes; and Nicole helped me pick out some makeup too. We were all getting pretty close, and honestly pretty well known. Of course it was a music school, so there weren't any "cool" or "popular" kids; but I had to say; I felt pretty cool.

There was a winter dance coming up; I hadn't gone to homecoming, but now because I had a big group of friends I apparently had to go. I was looking through my closet now, with Kirstie.

"Oh!" She pulled out a white short shirt and black high waisted pants that got longer on the ends, and thrust them towards me. "You should totally wear these."

I looked down and smiled. She'd chosen them out for me the other day when we were on our shopping spree. I was so thankful to have her, I thought. So of course I would wear it.

"Just for you." I said jokingly, but I was feeling kind of sappy, so it wasn't really a joke.

She laughed and I did too a little; when the door opened. Of course she was shocked, but I was used to it. Ignoring Scott. His mad look that really just covered up a pathetic sad look; it made me really want to forgive him sometimes, honestly. But then I just remembered what he did, and I figured that he always had Alex, right?

Ever since Avi started hanging out with us, it was like his little group of choir jocks got less and less relevant. I stopped hearing so much about them; I stopped seeing them laughed and playing around everywhere I went. Was that because I was the one that was relevant now?

It had been around a month, and winter break was almost here, which meant finals, but also the dance. I couldn't wait to go. I had lots of friends and I was really happy with myself and my appearance, too.

But every so often, Alex would come home with Scott. They never kissed; but I could tell that the other boy was getting a little too close for just friends. Not that Scott would realize that though, he was an idiot. And he probably would have been making out with Alex in front of me if they were dating, anyways.

It was one night that what I heard really shocked me, though. I was in the shower when I heard conversation through the thin walls; and put my head up to the door. Scott's bed was closer to that door, anyways.

"Come on, Scott. It's not like it'll mean anything."

"I'm just... not ready for that kind of thing yet."

"But you weren't ready when we dated, either!"

"Alex..."

"We don't even have to have sex, we can just... you know, do other stuff."

"Mitch is in the shower."

"You said he takes forever!"

Oh, this is perfect, I thought. Scott probably lied to everyone. Told them that he was a virgin to try and make them feel special or something. I could tell Alex the little lie Scotty was telling him and he'd get mad, for sure.

"I don't... I don't want to do that, Alex."

Scott's voice sounded so... small, and scared. And I didn't hear anything else that night, but when I came out, Alex was saying goodbye. He looked a little distressed, but not mad. And Scott just looked at me with eyes I'd only ever seen that night we were watching movies together and taking that break.

All night while I listened to him breathe softly, I couldn't help but think of how nice that night was. And around two am or so, in a tired daze, I faintly remember getting up. And I think that for some dumb reason I got out Scott's tape and dug through our trashcan and put up that scoreboard on the wall again. Because when I woke up the next morning, it was there.