Hate Sex is So Hot

27 - The Audition

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Today was the day.

It was a really early morning; even the coffee didn't help. I tried my hardest, and Avi told me over and over that I looked gorgeous, but I still don't know if I looked my absolute best.

I felt so bad, still. I could barely even look him in the eyes on the car ride over to the studio. I just... laid my head on his shoulder, and started at the seat in front of me. He rubbed my back a little bit.

It was a big building; but then again, everything in California seemed a little bit bigger, in my opinion.

"Hey Mitch." Avi said. I didn't look at him and replied, "Yeah?"

"How are you feeling."

"Good." I looked up at him and gave a little smile. "Nervous."

"Me too." Chimed in Scott, a little hesitantly as he brought the car to a stop.

My feelings towards Scott were so... confusing. It was love and hate. I'd hated him... and then maybe I started to like him again. Then it all turned to hate when I saw those texts, but now... now I just have no idea. It was like I felt two completely things for him at once; I couldn't even put them together. It was like trying to stick two positive sides of a magnet together; they just wouldn't fit. 

The inside of the building was cold, and scary looking. In an intimidating way. A man in casual but formal attire led us to a private practice room; he looked like a business man or something. Kevin and Kirstie wanted to go check out where we were performing, and Avi offered to go with them.

"I'll be right back, baby." He said and kissed the top of my head and nodded.

I didn't realize how nervous I was until the door closed behind me and Scott. This was something huge. What if I messed this up... for all of us...

It felt like something was weighing down on my chest and my back, pressing them both together and making it hard for me to breathe. I walked over to a mirror and looked at myself for a second. Tears were blurring my vision, but I did my best to just blink them away.

Unfortunately, Scott happened to glance over at me.

"Mitch...?"

"Yeah...?" I said, avoiding his eyes and doing my best to keep back tears with my choked back voice. He just walked closer, now probably notice my heavy breathing.

"Are you... ok?" He didn't even have to ask before I violently shook my head no.

"Can I have some water?" He basically ran to the group of water bottles near the door and back to give it to me, even opening it for me. He held it up to my lips, and I laughed nervously.

"I-I can do it myself, you idiot." I said and took the bottle. He pulled up a chair and forced me down in it, but I wasn't really in a place to protest.

"You're having a panic attack." He stated. "I think."

"But I..." I tried my best to take deep breaths. "Haven't had anything like that since middle school..."

Scott didn't say anything; he just swallowed. "Uh, can I... help you?" I just sniffled a little and wiped my eyes.

"No, I'm... I'm fine." My breath was slowly coming back to me, but my stomach still felt like it was tied up in all different kinds of knots. "I just... freaked out for a second, I think."

He nodded, and then it was quiet for a second. I closed my eyes for a couple moments... but suddenly felt a warmth in front of me. And when i opened them back up, I saw him there, hugging me.

"Don't read into this." He said into my neck. "I just can't have you mess up this audition for us."

I knew that wasn't it, but I didn't say anything.

-

It was 12 in the afternoon. I walked outside and squinted in the sun, events still flashing through my mind from what had just happened.

The way we sang. The way my voice shook. The way Avi seemed to sing amazingly without any effort at all, but Scott gave it his all. We all did. The way the judges had acted when we said the words Acapella.

But the judges smiled at us and they didn't even write too much down. Not that I would have even noticed, anyways. By the time everyone else went quiet around me, I had completely tuned out the rest of the world.

"Good job." Avi smiled at me. "Your solo was really good... you probably got us the gig, to be honest."

I lied into his shoulder and smiled. "Thanks... but if it's anyone, it's you and Kevin. Don't lie."

"How did I do?" Kirstie piped up nervously. Kevin grinned.

"The judges were in awe because of you." He said, making fireworks almost go off in her eyes. I was a little confused though, why wasn't anyone talking about Scott? He'd really went all in.

"Scott, you uh..." I started, but when I felt everyone's eyes on me, I suddenly felt a lump form in my throat. "Put a lot into that."

"Thanks." He said, probably unsure if it was a compliment or not, but Avi just patted him on the back. "Yeah, you were amazing."

It was nice to see them getting along.