The Power In Him

15

I saw her again. Se was even more beautiful than I remembered. 

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Your mother.." She whispered.

"M-my what?" I asked astonished that someone so beautiful could have birthed someone like me.

"You're not dead Mitch." There was a short pause as I realized she hadn't called me 'Mitchell.' "I know you don't like it that's why," she said it as if it were obvious yet her smooth voice never failed to amaze me.

"You're not dead because Scott won't let you," she said lovingly. "He loves you too much and that love is what's keeping you on the edge of death. You should be dead Mitch. You need to tell me something though Mitch," she said as she stared into my eyes.

I didn't move. I was too stunned.

"Why did you try Mitch?" She said softly as if I were a fragile sheet of glass.

"Because I'm worthless," I said it a short whisper.

"No-Mitch no. That's not true," she said sternly. Out of reflexes I flinched thinking she would hurt me.

"Yes I am," I said it a bit more harsh this time. She looked like she was about to say something before I spoke. "I am ugly. I am stupid. I am fat. I am worthless. And it wouldn't of hurt anybody if I died. Scott doesn't love me. He's probably like everyone else. Who would use me and hen toss me aside. I am prevented from having true happiness. I am prevented from seeing things the way people think I should. As the brighter side of things but what I see! There is no sun the way I see it." I put an emphasis on the word sun to prove my point. By the time I finished speaking I was practically yelling and out of breath. 

My.. Mom... Seemed to be both stunned by my sudden outburst but seemed to be more affected by what I had said instead. 

"Mitch.. That's not true at all. You mean so much to him, Kirstin, and me... You have no idea," she said softer.

Part of me thought she was being sincere and was actually telling the truth. There was another part of me. The broken part, that wanted to yell at her and tell her she was lying. That all those things she said was just a lie because I was some sort of charity case. Then there was another part of me that was just emotionless. That was the part I had fallen into when I decided to try and take my life.

Slowly everything dissipated and all I heard was crying and a flatline beep. What? I wasn't tired or worn out like I thought I should be after nearly killing myself. In fact I felt perfect. I sat up to see what was happening and heard 6 loud different pitched screams.

I looked up and saw Kirstie with her mouth hanging open. Followed by Avi, Scott, Kevin, a teacher, and the doctor.

he doctor made a strangled cry as he looked at me.

I looked to the source of the flatline that was staring to get annoying and realized the stickers attached to my neck. I followed them to the machine that was fueling the sound of a flatline. 

What! i let out a worse strangled cry than the doctor in fear.

"What is happening?" I said softly. The beeping seemed to get louder in he silence when no one said anything and just hung their mouths open in fear, sadness, and confusion. "CAN YOU TURN THAT FUCKING THING OFF!!!" I suddenly yelled scaring myself and everyone around me. Scott's face was shocked, worried, and sad. It broke my heart that I was causing this.

The doctors face twisted into one of even more fear so I followed his eyes and realized that I had burned that machine to a crisp. Thus succeeding to turn of that hell of a noise. I suddenly got nervous and shriveled up into a small ball in the corner of the bed to avoid the stares. Someone put there arm on my back making me flinch and turn around. It was Scott. I immediately relaxed and grabbed his hand.

"Mitch I'm going to have to check your pulse," the doctor whispered. I only nodded not trusting my voice.

He put his hand on my wrists and looked up at me slightly worried. He then put a few fingers on my neck. His face twisted in confusion and fear. He used his stethoscope on my chest to see if he could feel it. He turned really pale and backed up a little.

"Doctor... Kirk, are you okay?" I asked panicked.

"I should be asking you that question boy," he said softly. "You have no pulse..." He said a little scared.

"Then how am I alive!" I practically yelled making everybody jolt a little. "Actually..." I said a little quieter, "Can I have a moment with Scot... Alone?" I asked.

"Yeah I just need to go tel another doctor about thi-"

"NO!" We all yelled at him. 

"Uhhhmm... Okay. Let's go guys," Dr. Kirk shooed everyone out of the room closing the door behind him as he walked out.

"Scott..." I said.

"Mitch-how.. Why? What?" He stuttered.

"I know how and why I'm still alive," I said quietly. I blushed a lot at the thought of what.. My mom, told me.

"How?" He asked with only a little confusion.

"My.. Mom, told me while I was out. She said it was because... Because you loved me too much, and that it was keeping me on the edge of death, but I guess I fell, and your love was there to catch me. It couldn't bring me back up," I said shyly.

Scott blushed. Then leaned over and kissed me. He pulled away far to soon and I pulled him back in. It felt like there was fire wherever he was touching. There were sparks flying off our lips. The pink mist returned and Scott stared into my eyes. Oh yeah they were hearts. 

"I didn't notice that before," he whispered.

Then I felt something beating in my chest. I felt my chest and realized it was my heart, and it was pumping again.

Someone knocked on the door then opened it. When it opened it was Dr. Kirk and the 'crew' behind him.

"Come check my pulse," I old him a little louder than before.

He nodded and checked it.

"Oh wow," he said it as if he was fascinated at a beautiful piece of art or a castle. "Mitch, I am aware that you're in here for an attempted suicide?" He asked.

I nodded while looking towards the floor. It was now that I realized my arms were covered in bandages. 

"Uhhmm... I'm going to give you prescription anti-depressants. Just so this doesn't happen again. It's a non-lethal drug so you won't be able to kill yourself with it by drinking all of them..." He said and shortly after walked out of the room.

Once he was gone Kirstie, immediately shot up from her set and lightly slapped my face.

"Don't ever try something like that again Mitch!!!" She nearly yelled. Surprisingly I wasn't afraid anymore.

"I won't.." I whispered.

"Dude, I haven't known you for that long and I don't wan'y you to die," Said Avi. His deep voice made me put a hand over my freshly beating heart.

I looked over at Scott who was smiling from ear to ear. It made me smile seeing him happy and we caught eyes. Everyone burst out into laughter and soon both me and Scott joined the laughter circle.