Joshifer (We Remain)

Part 11!

Hiiiii :D! I've been busy jotting down ideas for my book! So hopefully your enjoying so far . Thanks again everyone x yourve all been amazing :D!

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Jen Pov

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I wake up to a empty bed , feeling slightly cold without Josh lying here with me. I honestly am still quite confused with how he was acting around me last night , I swear I recall him calling me beautiful or something, who knows , maybe I was just losing my marbles . I got up out of bed putting on my dressing gown on .wondering through the hotel room looking for Josh, I had no luck finding where he was , so I assume he would have gone out.

I decide on taking a shower because Josh most likely will be back later .

turning on the hot water , I place a towel outside .

I make sure I lock the bathroom door properly, just incase he comes back and walks in on me , which I don't want.

I step into the shower, letting the warm water cascade down my body. Closing my eyes I let my muscles relax , trying not to look at my bruises too much . They were quite bad  looking ,I have quite a few on my stomach ,legs plus a few on my arms which makes me feel slighty self concious at the moment. They're not the small type of bruises you may be thinking of., more like  a swolen dark purple and black. To be honest , I  deffinatly can't see myself going swimming in a bikini anytime soon.

I apply this strawberry body wash all over my skin, which has this amazing aroma. I washed my hair with this  sweet smelling shampoo and condittioner, that was supplyed by the hotel.

Feeling alot more refreshed, I turn the shower off , drying my hair and body. Before exiting the bathroom , I take time stairing at myself in the mirror . I can't help but feel unhappy with what I see ,.I've never been the sort of person to pick out my floors. I do  know that i'm not necessarily  the skinniest person in the the whole of Hollywood, but It doesn't help when I'm constantly reminded by it all the time . There are all ways constant rumours about me in the public eye, which I have all ways felt intimidated by. The media  are allways making false accusations, saying that i am gaining more weight  by the  minute. I then look down at the bruises , they make me feel weak. i'm slightly insulted by what i'm looking at ."ME" Jen thats what your stairing at.

 the future of ugliness I tell myself 

 I didn't  want to stand there looking at myself . 

I wrapped my towel tightly around my body , heading  down the hall into Josh's bedroom . When I enter, I see him lying on the bed reading what seemed the news paper. He stoped what he was doing , obviously mesmerized by my incoming presence 

he stairs at me in a strange way, making me feel slightly uncomftable. Does he think I'm fat ? is that why he's looking at me in the way 

I grab a change of clothes not stealing a glance at him. I keep my head down as I  start walking out the room

I don't make it very far out the door , until what seems , Josh taking a grip of my hand.

" You , okay Jen" he says spinning me around , making me look directly into his eyes 

" i'm fine" I say coldly " I would , like it if you could just let go of me" pulling my hand firmly  out of his grip i leave him standing there speechless. I make my back into the bathroom, slaming the door really hard.

I slide down agents the door , just letting the tears fall from my eyes

" Babe, are you alright" josh calls softly,  lightly tapping on the door