Joshifer (We Remain)

Part 18

Hey, sorry about the late update (; I have had a few things happening at home that are kinda personal, but despite that, I hope you enjoy this xx love y'all

-TheGalOnFire12

Jennifer's Pov

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I stood in front of the mirror with my bikini on. I looked awful, and I know that Josh will think the exact same thing .I did look thinner though. But that didn't mean I still didn't feel good about myself. If I wasn't so stupid than maybe I wouldn't look like this, I mean it was my fault getting hurt. Was it ?

Josh and I are actually staying on a boat for a few nights, we will be touring around some of the beaches and Islands. I got really excited when we pulled up by the pier, the boats really amazing, it's going to be a really good time to relax.

"Hey Jen, are you coming" Josh calls from outside our bedroom

"Yeah. Just give me a second " I grabbed my towel . Wrapping it around my body , covering my bruises and scars.

"Jen can you let me in " I open the door to see Josh looking worried

"You okay , you've been in there for ages"

"I'm fine. I promise"

It is obvious that I am quite sensitive at the moment, especially when it comes to my weight and the fact that I am self conscious.

Josh must have asked the driver to stop the boat, so that we can go swimming . I don't really feel confident showing it all off , chances are the whole world will see what I look like after the photographers get ahold of picture.

I sit down on the netting, near the front of the boat. Making sure my towel won't come lose , I pull it up.

"Are you going to come in with me Hun " he asks sitting beside me, holding me close to him.

It takes me awhile before I could even answer. "I.. I.... I don't know " I mumble

"Why not , the water looks nice"

"Yeah it's not that" I tell Josh , trying to grip my towel tighter.

"You can tell me , because I love you, and care for your well being "

"Me . My body . I don't feel pretty. Everyday I look at myself and hate what I see. You don't have to lie to me Josh. I no that I a..........................

I am cut off by Joshes lips being pressed agents mine.

"Don't you ever say that about yourself , I love you so much . I can't have you talk about yourself in that way , your every bit of beautiful , to me "

He encloses me in a hug not letting me go.

" you really mean that "

"Yes" Josh tells me.

I look down at my wrists . The scars . I no that he's seen it.

"What is that " Josh asks furrowing his eyebrows. He lifts my wrist up so he can look.

"I'm sor......"

"Why" I look up to see tears welling In his eyes . His look is so powering, it's almost impossible to break contact with him.

I keep hurting him . I've put him through so much , he's had to deal with me being a bitch 24/7

I don't know how he can put up with me.

"You can find someone better than me Josh. Look at me , I'm horrible to you "

He shakes his head in unbelief

"WOUlD YOU STOP" he yells

I refuse to cry. I can see that he is already full on crying himself. It's my fault .

" I'm going inside " I hop up off the netting , only to be roughly pulled back down , causing my towel to drop. I fall down onto my back .

I try get up but josh pins my hands down , he basically comes and sits on my hips. Causing me to panic.

"Let me go " I beg

"No Jen. You can't do this to me anymore. I need you to be honest with me . Is there anything else your hiding"

"Get off your hurting me " I try break out of his grip , wincing really loudly .

"When was the last time you ate Jen "

" I don't know , just get the fuck off me "

"Is there anything else "

"NO" I cry

He must have gotten off me because I felt as though I could move again. I curl into a ball and keep crying.

I feel myself being lifted up by two strong arms , Joshes.

He takes me inside and lies me down on the bed

I can't help but let the hot tears run down my face.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Jen ."

He pulls me into his chest, I end up snuggling my head in the crook of his neck.

"I know" i cry. Josh rubs small circles into my back

"When we get back, you and I will work through this "

I nod

" but why did you stop eating "

"Could you stop with the 20 questions Josh. I don't need this "

I know that things have gotten bad , I didn't need him telling me what to do.

"I'm sorry . I care for you , that's all "

"You don't need to worry about me Josh "

"Yes I do "

"Why. There's millions of other girls out there , you don't need to do this for me. I'm literally mental and you say you love me . Your In love with a physco pathic bitch"

"Your none of those things to me. I don't want to be with anyone else . Your all that I want

He leans down kissing my lips passionately. His tongue slides along my lip obviously asking for entrance, which I gladly except . Our lips move in sync together.

We both break the kiss , feeling breathless

"Believe me now " he whispers in my ear

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New update soon (:

Don't worry guys , Jen is going to get better from her depression

Xx don't forget to comment and vote xx

Thanks my lovelies ! Love you all.

I know this was short but I will update again soon. Don't worry I haven't ditched the story. This book is literally on my mind every day. Every day I don't write , I feel guilty xxx

_ TheGalOnFire12

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