Joshifer (We Remain)

Part 12

Jennifer's Pov
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yesterday was probably the worst I've felt in ages, I've never been at such a low point in my life. My arms are healing , but still really hurt, I prefer not telling him what really happened . Josh wouldn't understand what's going on inside my head. He would probably act even more over protective over me . I've had no appetite what so ever, sadly I turned down the breakfast Josh made for me this morning ,I knew he felt a little offended . I couldn't help but feel guilty.


Josh was kind enough to pack my suitcase for me , I insisted that he didn't need too. The thing is , I didn't want to argue with him again , he probably thinks I'm physco enough, especially how I haven't given him a proper explanation why I was so upset.


Right now Josh and I were making our way down into the car park , he guided me placing one of hands on the small of my back.


"You feeling okay Jen, you don't look so good " he asks me , as exit the elevator and walk over to his car.


"Just feeling a little sick " I tell him . Placing my suitcase in the back of the car.

I hop in the passenger seat waiting for Josh to get in. Once he's seated , he doesn't start the car , he just turns and looks at me , concern washing over his face .

"Why do I feel as though you not been completely honest with me " He says calmly as possible , trying to keep his cool together .


"What do you mean" I look blankly at him


"Well first of all you didn't want to eat what I made you this morning, then you just completely ignore me , after you gave me this big heart to heart talk last night. So don't tell me Jen , that you don't know what I'm talking about , I know your lying to me . I know you too well so don't fucking lie to me "


I stair at the ground not knowing what to say , my mouth has literally hanging open .
Well what could I tell him. Oh hey josh , yeah I'm just feeling a bit depressed at the moment , everyone has always been criticising my weight , which makes me feel totally normal. I don't have a positive self esteem. All I do is zone out , looking at nothing but the floor.

I must have been thinking for a while , because I didn't even realise that we were already onto the highway. I look up at him after awhile ,his eyes focused on the road. Josh doesn't even steal a glance at me, no talking . Just silence.


This kind of tension between us makes me feel really uneasy , he's never been like this around me before . I know that I brought this all on myself, but I just can't tell him.
I check my phone scrolling through all my notifications, when I receive a incoming call from Nick
.


"Hello" I answer quietly

"Hey Jen , it's Nick. I just got your voicemail from a few days ago . How are you doing love"

"I , um , I'm okay " stuttering not really knowing what to say

Seeing in the corner of my eye that Josh awkwardly looks at me for a few seconds .

" a little quiet today , huh, cat got your tongue"

"No, no , I uh , kind of am going through a bit at the moment"

Josh looks at me again .
Can he like, just not.

"That's not good" he says sounding worried
"Jen , look. I hear your heading to Hawaii, reports have been in the magazines for weeks about this. In fact I'm actually here at the moment, visiting someone. So you and I could catchup and talk if you wanted"


" that would be great , I could do with some good company at the moment " I tell him


"Bullshit," I manage to hear josh curse low beneath his breath.

I turn my head , furrowing my eye brows at him , which he doesn't notice .
He's smart comments really starting to piss me off


"Yeah , I'm going to be hear for another week and a bit"

"So , who are you visiting" I ask curiously

"Erm, my uh girlfriends parents " by the sounds of his voice , he must feel slightly awkward telling me this. The thing is I have no interest in who he dates , I don't feel jealous that he is with another woman . Me and Nicks relationship finished months ago.


" good on you , that's really lovely to hear " I tell him happily , trying to make him feel at ease, talking about the subject with me .


"Thanks. So have you found anyone new "


" No I am currently single . I guess when the right time comes I may find someone"


"Good luck to you then" he tells me
"Anyway Jen I best be going, I'm actually going out soon for lunch so I will text you later"


"Sweet, it will be in touch with you soon then ."


"Cool , see you later Jen"

"Bye" I say hanging up .


"Who was that " Josh says coldly as parks the car at the airport

"Just a friend "

"Right"

Josh gets out the car grabbing our things out the back and putting them on the ground. He locks the car up not waiting for me , just wondering inside , leaving me here to myself. He must be really mad at me then .

I start wheeling my bags up to the entrance. Going inside to grab my plane ticket ,giving my bags to the lady.


I walk into the terminal, waiting with everyone else. I take a seat , not talking to anyone just looking through my phone.


"Why looking so down Jen" I look up to see Willow asking me a question
She takes a seat beside me , obviously waiting for me to reply.


"Let's just say that , Josh and I aren't on the best terms with one another at the moment "

"Is it okay if I ask why "

" I think it would be best If I leave it between me and Josh . I would love to tell you willow , but I don't need you worrying " I smile at her

"Okay , well if anything gets bad , you can just come talk to me " Willow reassures me.
I can't believe how wise that girl is for her age, she just seems so mature at 13 years old . I remember when I was that age , I was absolutely hyperactive, everyone thought I had a metal illness or something. My parents tried putting me on medication , but It turned out just Not work . No wonder I annoy the shit out of people all the time .


"Thanks Willow"

"No problem" she stands up and walks off going over to where everyone else was.

I didn't feel like talking at the moment. I just sat down waiting until we would be called for our flight .


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