Hey guys! Merry Christmas (yes I know it's now boxing day but shh) !! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Okay so so I decided to update like around Christmas because the time lines kind of match up and and I have been working on the next chapter and it depends when I finish it if I post it on new years day, the 5th of January or even the 5th of February. It's kind of a long one that's only half finished so I will try my best, but I don't want it to seem rushed. Enjoy the chapter!! ♥
The next morning, Lily woke up in an unfamiliar bed, that's when her memory came flooding back: the fight. She got up out of bed and sat at the dressing table and looked in the mirror. She was ghostly pale yet her eyes were red and bloodshot, as she turned around, looking at the sea of tissues sprawled out across the room. All she wanted right now was him. For him to just walk into the room, kiss the top of her head and wrap his arms around her waist. But that didn't change the fact that she was still hurt. Hurt by the lack of trust.
Thirty minutes later she has managed to get dressed and tidy herself up, making her look presentable. She slowly turned the handle on the bedroom door and cautiously stepped out. She turned to her right and he was there. Right there. Just a few metres away from her. The overwhelming urge to hug him took over her body, yet, she turned around and walked down the stairs. Silence was all to be heard during that moment.
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A week passed and it was now Christmas eve, and the pair had still not spoken a single word to each other, creating a tear between friendships. Sirius cared for Lily, of course, but James was his best friend. Marlene cared for James, but Lily was her best friend. Awkward, huh?
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Suddenly, there was a loud crash. But not like, a car crash, but a lighting crash. The thing is though, you couldn't tell that it was lighting.
Everyone in the Potter household rushed out to the back door to see what was going on. They all stared at the green illuminated sky, the pattern anyone could recognise: the dark mark.
"Everyone, inside. Now." Dorea ordered. They all made their way inside, one by one, still not speaking a single word to each other, all going off in separate directions.
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James was sat against the wall in the foyer of Potter manor, staring aimlessly at thin air, lost in his own thoughts, when he felt something warm settling on his shoulder.
"Do you think we'll be okay?"
She sat there next to him on the floor, her head on his shoulder- he was no longer staring at thin air, he was focused on one spot, determined not to look at her. Hurt scratched her voice, and he could very obviously tell, trying hard not to care.
"I don't know anymore." He replied bluntly.
She swallowed loudly, as he felt something wet dripping onto his shoulder.
"I don't think anybody knows anymore." His voice started to cracking now, but he didn't want to cough and startle her.
She slowly rose from the ground, silently walking away, dabbing her wet cheeks with the sleeve of her burgundy jumper- it smelt like pretzels and honey.
Marlene was sat in the living room on the sofa, Sirius cuddling up to her side. As Lily made her way past, Marlene softly grabbed her hand, and Lily gave her a weak smile. Marlene looked at her best friend sympathetically, as if to say, I understand. And she went on her way up the stairs, only to go to her room once more, and cry.
Lily knew things were going to get harder, and going at something alone was not going at it at all. She suddenly felt guilty, almost, for creating a tear in the Potter household, and reevaluating what she had said to him before she walked away. In the heat of the moment, words just spilled from her mouth and she just couldn't stop them. However, she was still in love with him. She missed him.
He sat there, not feeling sorry for himself one bit. He hated the fact that his father was out there, on Christmas eve, fighting for him and his beloved mother, when he should be with them, preparing for Christmas day. For all James knew, he could be dead. His mind would always come full circle, though. It would always come back to her. He knew that he was in the wrong, yet he didn't have the guts to face her and tell her again thay he was sorry, and that he did trust her. But a small part of his mind, was telling him that she knew. She knew he trusted her, and that she just needed time to sort out her feelings. However, he was still in love with her. He missed her.
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She slid down the wall, breaking down into uncontrollable sobs, the kind of sobs that really make your chest hurt because you cant cry anymore than you are in that current moment. She threw her head back, and tried to regain control of her breathing, but it was no use. Her breaths were sharp and frantic, as if she was gasping for air, and her brain running at one million miles an hour. She sat cross-legged and pulled at the roots of her hair with her hands, which were now clammy with sweat and tears. Once in a while, her brain would empty itself from everything, and her mind would blank and the tears would stop, and she could breathe. That is, until, everything flooded back into her mind all at once, and she would lay on the floor and stare up at the ceiling, feeling like she no longer had the ability to cry anymore, because she felt pathetic. She felt like she wasn't worth anyone's time. Like she was just that one annoying thing in a persons life that everyone can live without. That all she was was trouble and everyone could live without her. Nobody needed her. Nobody wanted her. Yet, Lily Evans always had the will power to carry on. Because, she believes, that everything gets better, and everything will be alright in the end. All will be well.
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That night she was still staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep at all, her eyes red and bloodshot. She put her hands behind her neck, as if to remind herself that the walls were not closing in on her, and there was space in her empty bed. She tossed and turned for god knows how long until she finally got sick of it. Plucking up the courage, she pulled the covers off of her body, slowly sliding out of bed to stand up and wipe her eyes, there was no point even trying to get rid of the red puffiness around her eyes. She silently walked barefoot towards the door, putting her cold hands on the solid metal doorknob, before gradually turning it anticlockwise, creaking it open and taking a step out.
Rays of moonlight shone through the curtains on the window illuminating the hallway with a dim light, so everything was just about visible. She turned to her right, about to take a step forward towards his room, when something stopped her. A lanky figure was slouched against the wall outside of her bedroom, his head hung low. She took a deep breath, before walking to face him, she held out her hand in front of him. He hesitated for a moment, looking up at her with the tears in his eyes glistening in the moonlight, taking her hand and getting up.
He was now looking down on her, both with blurry vision and broken hearts. He slowly let go of her hand, before running them both through his hair.
"I'm sorry, I-I was going to come in but I didn't have the guts to..." he croaked quietly.
Suddenly, she flung her arms around his him and sobbed into his neck, and he snaked his arms around her waist, lifting her clear off of the ground. He started to cry too, she could feel his chest moving in and out as their bodies pressed up against each other.
The grandfather clock that stood at the end of the hallway chimed midnight, and two broken hearts combined.
