Poems

|| Inner battle ||

looking at myself in the mirror
I wonder what am I doing here
with people who don't really know me
yet just friends for the sake of it

they are all laughing for their own jokes
and pulling each other legs
I tried to be one of them
but its just not me

still I'm here wearing a mask
pretending to be involved
where as I'm screaming inside
to go home away from all

they don't seem to know my battle
cause they don't really know
what I'm going through
for them its just another party
an another day to have fun
to dance and to drink

but what should people like me do?
if I don't come, they'll say
you're shy, introvert and boring
and if I come I can't stay for a minute
with out screaming inside
and regretting my decision

is it only me feeling this way
or few of them are also faking
just like me
cause if you do they'll say
such a cool person
if not 'such a boring person'

you like partying and going out
and I like staying alone and reading
I didn't say anything to you
but you insult me saying
'you don't know how to enjoy life'

really, like really?
I wanna scream 'get a life'
cause I know how to enjoy
just my taste is different from yours
and we're on different paths

one thing I learned today
you can say whatever you want
in the long run,
you'll all be just pages in my book
but this is my own book, my own life
it depends how I want to fill these pages
with bitter tales and regrets
or with my own sweet memories
of my own little world.