Miscalculation

Understanding

Eren's POV

In some way I hate myself, and at the same time, I don't. It had been another few days from my so called regular routine which is what I say. Just getting food shoved into me, now I eat at my own willing. The chains being forced into me, I dearly wish for them now. The blood getting drained out of me making me hate them for making me weak, I now let it happen as if it was nothing. The more injected serum into my body, I so want for more. The people I had wished to kill, now are my friends.

I question why I have changed now. My perspective of everything has changed. All because of one person, who gave me one lesson. That blond. I still don't know his name, yet we are good friends. Though, sometimes, I still want to kill him, I still want this to end, this nightmare.

But it's never going to. I only want to kill him to make him go through what I went through, yet in a less painful way. Or more, painful way. For mortals.
Then again I shouldn't because he has the answers I need for my business, in my near future I so left behind.
And sometimes, it's just the new thoughts I have, new visions, new dreams, new... Memories..

"What's today like now, you feeling better?" I look up seeing the blond man.

"I guess so, I'd like to know about you, what's got you in a good mood lately?" He's been more energetic lately, moving and talking much more than he usually would. He seems much more happy now.

He softly chuckled. "You. You seem more happy as well, then again it's more than one reason. I feel as if we have more of a connection like this, we no longer have an argument as such supposed, and I know your doing better. That enough of it?" He smiled at me, kneeling down by the clear window.

"Yes, my happiness is satisfied with yours. I wouldn't like to see you so uneasy and vulnerable to such pathetic things as a sudden change in emotions." I smiled back.

"Your vocabulary has expanded greatly, not that it never was, but more I guess. Now let's see, I'm going in, I'd like to see your unique complexity up close." He stood up again opening the locked door with a few keys, and walked in closing it again sitting on the bed and I sat on the floor by his legs.

"You seem like a little kitten like this, by my legs and looking up to me with such a look on your face. I could already imagine the ears and tail." He only faintly smiled, before chuckling again.

Does such a high class man have such desires? I could see into his thoughts and tell it wasn't just a happy thing to imagine. It was much as a desire to see something that doesn't exist and love it like you normally wouldn't, is such a way.

"I only sat like this because I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable since I don't even know what I can do; clearly. But, do you have something more to tell me, about this imagery?" He shook his head laughing a bit this time.

"I do actually. To be honest, I've grown fond of you through the past few days. I've grown close to you because you understand such things others don't, and you get the way I think, even if you can read them. But you look so adorable and cute, I can't take my eyes off you, you have such a complexion and amazing figure."

Those words made my face go red. I've never had anyone say that to me. And yet I feel a bit guilty now. I've even feel in love with him, not as much as I have to my close friend, my coworker.

He's not such a bad looking man, or bad at all. He's quite fine, for a man to his similar standards he's much superior. I've fallen for a man, I'm not ashamed as I used to be, to be in love with a man. Women don't have such an affect on me now.

"Well... I'm quite happy to hear that. I have too, actually. If that's something I'm allowed to do, with you."

I know I have to do what he says, he's my boss. If I could say to put it specifically. Yet there are boundaries here, to do and what not to do. Following the policy they have to keep everything from running into a dead end.