OK! srry this is 2 short but anyways most of them are teacher comebacks! so.... enjoy! :P
Police officer: you know why i pulled you over
Me: *points at donuts* because you smelt these.
Teacher- Did you do your homework?
Student - Did you grade my test?
Teacher - I have other students' tests to grade.
Student - I have other teachers' homework to do.
Teacher: if you had one dollar and asked your dad for one dollar, how much money would you have?
Me:onedollar Teacher: you don't know your maths!
Me: darling you don't know my dad so shut it! #LIKE A BOSS!
why don't you slip into something more comfortable....may i suggest a coma
Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework?!!
Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems.L
me: I have a magic trick that'll make u forget ur gay.
friend: I'm not gay….
me: Told ya!
friend: …...dammit
Teacher: "Do you want to share that with the class?"
Me: "No that's why I whispered it DUH!?."
Music teacher: "What is your favorite musical instrument?"
me: "The lunch bell."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. God made us beautiful. What the f*ck happened to you?
Me: Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?
Friend: No?
Me: HAHAHA
Friend: Shit
Girlfriend: Hey, let's go to the zoo
Boy: But babe, I'm not ready to meet your family yet (ouch)