DO NOT OWN~~ IF YOU FIND THIS OFFENSIVE PLS DO NOT COMMENT JUST GET THE FUCK LOST and... IF YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY IT PLS VOTE AND COMMENT =)
Boy: I love you!
Girl: -Sneezes- Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
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Police officer: you know why i pulled you over
Me: *points at donuts* because you smelt these.
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*In grammar class*
Teacher: HE does not like girls. What is 'He' in this sentence?
Drew: He GAYYYYYY.
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boy: are you wearing space pants? cus your ass is out of this world ;)
girl: no there softball pants cus my ass is so out of your league!
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Girl: Hi
Boy: Hi
Girl: Did you eat?
Boy: Did you eat?
Girl: Are you copying me?
Boy: Are you copying me?
Girl: I love you
Boy: Yeah I ate already!
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teacher: are you talking back to me? Me: yes wouldn't it be rude if I didn't?
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Boy texted his dad saying
Boy:I got expelled
Dad: WHAT WHY
Boy: cos we had this lesson about bulling and the teacher said sticks and stones may break my bone but words will never hurt me
Dad: and
Boy: so I threw a book at her face and it broke her nose
Dad : lol that's my boy
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Did it hurt when you fell of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down? (...dayum thats some burnnnn)
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Teacher: As you can see the legs, when squared equals the hypotenuse squared otherwise know as the Pythagorean Theorem
Douche Student: Hey sir, I got a theorem for you
Teacher:What is it?
Douche Student: Your mom's legs squared equals my dick squared
*Class Laughs*
Teacher: Is it really that small?
*Class becomes silent*
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Mom: Clean your room!
Me: Why?
Mom: Guests are coming over for dinner!
Me: Are we having dinner in MY room all of a sudden?
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Bully is provoking a wimpy kid
Bully: Hit me!
Wimp: NO!
Bully: Hit me!
Wimp: NO!
Bully: Hit me!
Wimp: I don't know where you are from but in this country we don't believe in hitting little girls.
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What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.
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Me:You know why girls turn lesbian?
Guy:why
Me:cause of guys like you
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Insult: Fuck you!
Comeback: No thanks, I don't want herpes.
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Mom: "You don't need drugs to have fun."
Me: "Ya, well I don't need running shoes to run but it makes it a hell of a lot easier".
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Guy: aw. Did you kiss your mom with that mouth?
Other guy: Nope. I kissed yours.
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Guy: Hey Hottie ;)
Girl: Sorry but i dont like guys
Guy: We have alot in common :D
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What does ur brain and ur dick have in common? They're both tiny
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Jerk: hey dipshit I know why your lonely
Kid: why
Jerk: nobody has time for you
Kid: maybe not you but your mom took all the time she needed last night
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Guy 1 - Hey I heard you're dating my ex girlfriend! How's that used pussy feel?
Guy 2 - Well after the first two inches it's like brand new!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
Douche: My dick's so long it goes all the way from A to Z!
Me: Yeah? Look at your f*cking keyboard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
Friend: Eww, disgusting!
Me: Did you look in the mirror again?
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Person: Who's was your favorite actor in Titanic?
Me: The Iceberg
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My parents called me a liar.
So I told them "Easter Bunny, Santa, & Tooth Fairy" and walked away like a boss.
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Jerk: YOUR GAY!!!
Kid: Your Girlfriend Would Disagree.
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Bully: Yo fat ass!!!
Nigga: yo wanna know why im fat yo b*tch?
Bully: sure you little titch
Nigga: because every time i f*ck up your girlfriend she gives me a biscuit
Bully; FUCK YOU!!!
Nigga: gotta go biscuit break! :P
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Telemarketer: Hi, can I interest you in...
Me: THANK GOD YOU CALLED! THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD! QUICK! WHAT DO I DO??
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Cop: Sir Do You Know How Fast You Was Going?
Man: The Same Speed As You Officer
Cop: And How Is That?
Man: You Caught Up To Me Didn't You?
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phone rings* a mom picks it up
caller: YOU SON OF A B**CH!!!!
Mom: He's in the shower it's the b**ch speaking
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Faggot: Ha Ha Ha Ha u r a cunt ha ha ha ha
Me: Your mouth reminds me of an ass, only shit comes out of it and some dicks go in it.
Class: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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EXTRA!!!~~~
If your going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart, otherwise your just an ass.
Your breath is just as bad as your comebacks.
everytime i see your face my middle finger gets a boner
