Have I Told You (PUBLISHED BY POP FICTION)

Chapter Thirty Three

Chapter Thirty Three

It's been a month since he left. After getting my hopes up, he broke me again. What's his problem this time? Ganun ba talaga ka-dali para sa kanyang iwanan ako?

I clearly told him I won't wait for him anymore once he leaves again. I clearly told him I was hurting badly. Why is he toying with my emotions?

"I'm going home. Nyle, ikaw na munang bahala dito." Maaga pa, pero nahihilo na kasi ako. Gusto ko na lang umuwi sa bahay. I don't have energy to do anything. I don't even have energy to breathe.

"I'm taking you home," he says. "Ryuji, ikaw nang bahala dito."

Napailing na lang si Ryuji. "Kayong dalawa, ano ba talaga kayo?"

"Tao," seryoso naming sagot. Parehas kaming wala sa mood kanina pa. Ako, dahil kay Eisley. Siya, dahil sa mga magulang niya. They want him to resign here dahil gusto nilang mag-concentrate siya sa pagiging lawyer.

Akala ko ihahatid ako ni Nyle sa bahay namin, pero nagulat ako dahil nasa tapat na kami ng art studio ni aunt Teri.

"Anong ginagawa natin dito?" tanong ko. Wala talaga ako sa mood. Ngayon lang din ako nawalan ng gana mag-paint. I've never been this down in my entire life. I'm too broken.

"You need to free your mind," he tells me. I don't need him to be by my side all the time, but I'm grateful he's here. Oo, nandiyan si Bev. Nandiyan din si Sile. I love them, but Nyle's different. He may nag me for being stubborn, but at the end of the day, he keeps quiet and tries to understand me.

And that's what I need the most right now—silence.

"How about you take me to a tattoo artist?"

He raises a brow. "What's wrong with you?"

"Just take me there. I want a tattoo."

He chuckles. "Nagrerebelde ka ba?"

"Oo," I answer without hesitation.

Dinala nga niya ako sa tattoo artist. Hindi ako prepared noong tinanong ako kung anong gusto kong tattoo kaya sabi ko, "Bahala na."

Bubuksan ko sana yung phone ko para mag hanap ng magandang tattoo kaso sumagot na agad yung assistant ng artist, "Ah, sige. Sandali lang po."

Ano raw?

"Treat ko na," sabi ni Nyle.

"How much do you think it will cost?"

"H'wag ka na lang mag tanong. Ako nang bahala." Dito pala siya nag pa-pa-tattoo. Marami rin daw artistang nagpapagawa sa artist na pinuntahan namin. Siguro, sobrang mahal ng singil dito. Thousands, maybe.

"I can pay for myself."

"I know, but this is my treat. Lifetime gift na. H'wag ka nang manghihingi ng regalo kahit kailan."

"Okay." I shrug. Madali naman ako kausap. Typically, hindi ko tatanggapin, pero dahil tinatamad akong makipag-argue ngayon, I let him pay for it. Babawi na lang ako sa susunod.

The tattoo did not hurt as much as I expected. It was actually... okay. Maybe, because my emotional pain is greater than the physical pain. This tattoo is a reminder that I should move on and get over him.

The tattoo is a baybayin word for 'Bahala na'. It's on the side of my right hand. Yeah, this tattoo perfectly fits me. Bahala na talaga. Bahala na! Fudge, sobrang frustrating talaga ng buhay ko ngayon.