Bash Mendez must save his favorite snack food from getting ruined by being turned into a gluten-free, sugarless, tasteless, and ultimately useless food by the nation's most zealous health nuts.
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When Bash Mendez realizes...
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Bash and Buddha coasted through the apartment parking lot with the top down on his Miata. On the radio played Phil Collin's song, "In the Air Tonight". Buddha sat upright and checked out the scenery.
Rather than wearing their usual "uniforms" that identified them as SECURITY, Bash relaxed in the driver's seat wearing shorts, flip flops, and a tie dye shirt.
Up ahead Bash saw a group of teenagers step out of a black car while laughing, seemingly aimless.
Bash reached over to the radio and switched the music to an old 90's Tupac song.
"Gotta fit in with the criminals," he said to Buddha, oblivious to the dated lyrics about not being ready for a black president. "Watch this."
Bash pulled up next to the group of teens. He felt smooth like Tony on Scarface but to the teens he was a lot more like Peter on Family Guy.
He saw them all looking at him and for a moment he hesitated. Then he said to them, "Hey you got anything I can buy?"
"I got some rocks," said a lanky boy who then picked up some gravel and looked at Bash while the little rocks flowed through his fingers.
"Come on, I know you kids know something!"
There was a murmur of protest among the group littered with "Dude be trippin'" and "Whaaaat?".
Bash heard a brief police siren that felt way too close, and then saw flashing lights crisscrossing the cars and apartment windows.
"You goin' to jail!" Yelled a short girl.
Bash put his car in gear and pulled away. The police siren blared again. Bash looked in his rear view mirror and saw a frantic cop yelling something that was drowned out by the siren. The cop looked angry and excited.
Bash stuck his head out the window and yelled, "I'm just getting out of your way!"
The cop pulled up right behind Bash and turned off the siren.
"I said," yelled the cop, "hold your hands where I can see them!"
After patting Bash down and checking his identity, the cop said, "What are you trying to buy from those kids?"
"I'm undercover!"
"Show me your badge," said the cop.
"I don't have a badge. That's how undercover I am and I was in the middle of a drug bust until you showed up!"
"One of those kids is my daughter. They got nothing for you to buy. If you don't have no badge, you could be charged with impersonating a police officer."
Bash felt goosebumps on his neck and stared at the ground.
"So," said the cop, "if you're not on your way home, or on your way somewhere, you need to park your car and not bother anyone."
"What if I really do see a drug deal?"
"Then you call the police, okay? That's what we here for."
#
Parked, Bash felt shaken from the incident and walked toward his apartment building.
"Bash!"
He turned and saw Duncan running toward him. Duncan stopped just short of plowing over Bash and worked hard on catching his breath. Finally, Duncan said, "You gotta see this!"
