Snack Food Hero

Chapter 17: Big Little Buddha

Bash looked around for a place to run, but found that the group was backed against thick brush they could not get through.

"Get it, Bash!" Said Lance.

"Get what?"

"Just attack it!"

"I can't see anything!" Bash squinted and tried to see whatever was behind the light.

While holding his arms up to block the light, Bash saw a swarthy, small, mustached man present himself in front of the light. The little man's smile was big and his mustache was even bigger and curled at the ends.

"Aye," said the little man in a Chipmunk's voice.

Bash relinquished his combative stance and stood up. He said to Lance, "Punch me. Seriously, push me in the face."

"Why?"

"Pinching myself hasn't woken me from this nightmare, so maybe a punch will do it."

In a flash, the little man ran toward Bash, jumped up, and socked him right in the eye.

Bash hit the ground, knocked out.

Lance, Duncan, and Rainbow looked at the little main with confusion, fear, and anger written all over their faces.

But the little man only saw Buddha. From the little man's low view, Buddha was a drooling beast with sharp teeth. It was like Bash fighting a car-sized rat.

"No, no, no!" Yelled the little man.

Buddha tilted her head to the side and then barked.

"No, please, I'll give you whatever you want! Don't let it kill me!"

"Like a genie?" Asked Duncan. "You look like that Lucky Charms dude."

"Oh!" Yelled the little man. "Don't even get me started on Randy. You know he only got that gig because I was sick. That was my big chance!"

"You blew it," said Duncan.

"ANYWAY," announced the little man, "What are you all doing down here? Are you explorers?"

"We have no idea and we want to leave," said Rainbow.

"Aye, why don't you just go back the way you came in?"

"We can't," said Lance. "There are people back there who want to kill us."

"Aye, aye, trouble makers, are ya?"

"No," said Lance.

"Aye, The Magic School Bus can get you out of here. You just gotta get to—"

Rainbow cracked up laughing so hard she buckled over. "Shut up! The Magic Freaking School Bus?" She threw her hands in the air and asked the whole strange world, "Is this really happening right now?!"

"Buddha!" Shouted Duncan. "Sick'em!"

The little man covered his head and face and curled into a ball on the ground. "No! Get it off me!"

The group huddled around the little man. He looked up at them through the cracks between his fingers, shaking and confused.

"Tell us," demanded Rainbow. "Right now, tell us how to get out of here and I don't want to hear nothing about any magic school buses."

"Ok, ok, ok, yes: Ms. Frizzle!"

Rainbow looked at him with indignance. "I said no ... magic ..."

"No!" Yelled the little man, beads of sweat sparkling on his face. "I only said Ms. Frizzle!"

"And what does Ms. Frizzle drive?!" Demanded Rainbow.

"I - I - I can't!"

"Say it!" She tormented.

"No!"

"Say it!"

"She drives The Magic School Bus! Noooo!" The little man burst into tears and did his best to shield himself from the beating they might unleash.

Rainbow looked at Duncan and Lance and said, "Guys ... I think he's telling the truth."

"You can't be serious," said Lance.

"Yea," said Rainbow. "Look at him, I bet his undies are dirtier than Duncan's right now.

"So, Little Man," continued Rainbow, "can you tell us how to get there?"

He uncovered his face and said, "Yes! But it's dangerous and I don't expect you'll survive."

"We don't have a choice," said Rainbow. "We've got to try." Then she told Lance, Duncan, and Buddha, "Everyone: We're off to see the school bus, The Magical School Bus of Middle Earth."

Then Rainbow looked at Bash, who was unconscious on the ground, and said, "As soon as he wakes up".

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