Snack Food Hero

Chapter 19: Are We There Yet?

Rocks crunched under their feet. Bevel stepped off the road and his feet crunched dead leaves, the official carpet of the Middle Earth forest. There is no wind to blow away the leaves.

Blackness pierced Bash's view as he followed Bevel into the trees. He felt Buddha brush against his leg and picked her up. Bash felt her shivering.

He rubbed his hands on her fur and whispered, "It's okay, we'll get home again and then you can play with your red bear. Remember Red Bear?"

He kissed the top of her head. Buddha seemed to breathe easier and he knew that she comforted him at least as much as he comforted her.

"You hear that?" Asked Lance.

"Bats! Duck down!" Yelled Bevel.

A swarm of bats shot through the tunnel of foliage and just over their heads. There were hundreds of them and they traveled through the tunnel like the hundreds of pellets in a shotgun blast.

The air from their little, black, rodent-like bodies swept over Bash's head and through his hair. Bash screamed. With his face contorted and eyes closed, he felt something physically halt his scream. He opened his eyes but it was too dark to see what this thing was. The instant he grabbed it, he knew what it was: A stray bat.

Disgusted, he threw it on the ground and screamed again, but covered his mouth.

The bats screeched as they passed overhead, and then they were gone into the night to feed.

They emerged from the other end of the tunnel of trees, all trying to catch their breath.

Duncan yelled, "I hate this place!"

"Ewww," said Rainbow, pinching her nose. "Duncan, did you pee on yourself again?"

"Aw man!" Said Duncan.

Bevel buckled over with laughter. "He was so scared, he didn't even know he peed on himself!"

"Well it's not like I wanted to pee on myself!"

Then they were all laughing and Buddha barked her concurrence.

The laughing subsided when their attention turned to the hole that Bevel had uncovered by moving that giant rock.

"Well," said Bash, "It does look like a tight fit."

Bevel grinned and said, "Look, I'll show you how!" Then he walked into the hole with room to spare. He turned and faced the group and exclaimed, "Voila!"

"Thanks," said Bash. "I think we're all going to have to crawl through there."

Bevel patted Duncan on his belly and said, "What about this one? Think he gonna fit?"

Bevel looked at Duncan and said, "Jog in place, Fat Boy!"

"What?" Asked Duncan, not moving an inch.

"Yea, that's what I thought," retorted Bevel.

"Duncan, you should go first," said Bash. "That way if you do get stuck, we can push you on through."

"No," said Duncan, "I think we just need to find the non-little-people entrance."

Bash laughed. "What do you think this is, the mall? Now get down there and crawl as far as you can."

Duncan reluctantly got on the ground and dug his elbows into the dirt. He pulled his large body in until his bottom bumped against the edge of the hole.

Inside the hole, Duncan saw only blackness and the air was dirty, old, and full of dust. He quickly got cotton mouth and he desperately wanted his tongue to produce fluid, but it was unable. No fluid left, boss.

He yelled, "Okay!" But he couldn't tell whether they heard him.

Looking into the blackness ahead, Duncan imagined a rat grabbing at his juicy eye balls. He screamed but the next thing that happened was a surprise: Multiple hands gave him one quick and hard shove further into the hole.

Duncan began to feel very claustrophobic. He was completely unable to move. The front of his left leg began to go to sleep and become numb. He realized he could not reposition himself to ease the pressure.

Then came more pushes, a succession of hard shoves that drove Duncan deeper.

Duncan's sides scraped the edge of the hole as he was forced through the hole. He wondered if they were also in the hole now. Maybe. Probably at least one of them, maybe more. Maybe all of them. Maybe none, and they were shoving him along with a long pole. Like a brain in a vat, he could not know for sure.

Through intense teamwork, the group moved through the little people hole like waste in a small intestine, and plopped right out the other end. They found themselves hungry, exhausted, filthy, and in awe.

Looming over them was a giant mountain reaching for the sky.

Yawning, Duncan asked, "Are we there yet?"

Rainbow turned to him and said, "Do you see a magic school bus?"

"I don't see any school bus."

"Then we ain't there yet."