16 July 2016
Maine,
It hurts. I hope you know it hurts. So bad, I can't find the words except from 'it hurts'.
I know how it feels like. I've already lost people I love. I lost both my parents. I lost Zero. Now, I'm losing you. Please stay. I don't care if you're blind. I don't care if you can't walk on your own without bumping on things. I don't care if you can't do things on your own. I don't care. Just please, stay.
It's funny how time flies. I am writing you this exactly a year since I first saw you at the park. I'm not sure if I believe in love at first sight, but last year, you caught my interest. You were just sat on the bench, then you smiled. That was it. End game. You had me.
You let me in your life and I am the happiest man on earth. I vowed to make you happy for the rest of our lives. I just want you happy, that is all.
So, now that you are like this, it breaks me. It hurts that I can't do anything. It hurts that I can't make you just as happy. I want you happy.
I'm leaving this in your drawer. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to let you find it yourself, and make me read it to you. I hope we're okay by then. I doubt you're going to make me read it if not.
Again, I just want you happy. That's all I ever want in my life now. I just want the woman I love happy. I want to make the woman I love happy.
Mahal—does that sound like a good endearment for you? Tell me if it's too cheesy. Anyway, Mahal, I really hope you make me read this instead of someone else.
I'm going nowhere with this letter.
Mahal. Meng. Menggay. Maine. Nicomaine Dei. I want you to know that I am kneeling in front of you while reading this. My shaking hands are holding a ring. A ring I want you to wear every day until that day that I'll give you another one. I want you to wear that for the rest of our lives. But for now, if you'll just say yes, I'll put this ring on your finger. It will be yours. It is yours. I am yours for as long as I live. Do you want my name? Will you allow me to change yours?
RJ
