WRITTEN BY:
vetzky
Sounds, there are sounds everywhere. Where there should only be silence, she hears different kinds of sounds; she hears the soft splash of rain on the rooftop, she hears the usual bickering of their neighbors, and the persistent continuous knocking on her door. But the beating sound isn't only the incessant knocking; it is also the wild pummeling of her heart against her ribcage.
But there is one sound that she so wanted to hear, but fate is too cruel. Just too cruel.
"For goodness sake Valeria just let me be" she called out to whoever is knocking at the bedroom door. She is not ready yet to talk to anyone.
"Open this door Nicomaine! Open this door now." Val shouted back.
Maine hasn't left her room since three days ago, she hasn't eaten anything and everyone is already worried about her.
"Open this Maine and go out. Please. You need to be there; your father and mother wants you there. He needs you. Open this now, go to him. Don't leave him at times like this, especially now." Val pleaded. If there is one person who should be with him at this moment, it is no other than Maine. If only she wasn't stubborn.
"I don't want to Val! I can't! So please, leave me alone!" Val decided to give her a little more time. She will stop now but she will be back later. Maine needs to come out, the sooner the better.
Upon hearing Val's foot steps she finally let the tears she's been holding flow 'Peace at last'
Sorry RJ, I'm really sorry. I want to be there for you, but I don't think I am strong enough. I will never be strong enough...
Maine continued crying until her tears have ran dry, which is a feat so she just cried and cried until she fell asleep.
CLICK.
Maine woke up when she heard the door lock. The door creaked open, followed by a silhouette figure slowly making its way inside her room.
If she didn't know better, she would have thought it was Val again. But it was not. The figure is of a man, so it's impossible to be Val. Maine can't clearly see him but she can feel it.
Her head jerked up immediately, her tear stained face registering a look of fear and panic. It is just her and Val in the house tonight. Whoever the man was, he is not supposed to be here.
She tried looking for his face, for any familiar sign, but her room is engulfed in an eerie darkness. She started to panic, who is this?
Maine felt as if there is a lump in her throat as she tried to push the words out of her mouth,
"Who are you? What do you want?"
The shadow just ignored her and went straight for her lampshade. "It's so dark and cold in here. Why don't you open the light?" the voice softly said.
Light illuminated the outline of his face but it was still too dark for her to figure out his distinct features. The angle of his face just isn't right.
"Are you ok?" He said as he approached her hunched figure in the bed. She backed away slightly. "Hey wait don't be scared. I won't hurt you." He held her hand but I pulled it away. "I never would. I never could"
"Damn, you're cold!" he exclaimed.
Wait. There is something familiar in his voice. I've already heard it once, no, not once, it's... its gentleness brings back a familiar feeling. But it's impossible.
"Do not worry Dei, I'll never hurt you."
"Who are you?" she asked again.
Why won't he just answer me? Who's this guy? Why did he know my name?
"Dei, it's ok. It's just me!" Without a doubt, that voice sounded really familiar.
"RJ?" the man adjusted and finally his face can be clearly seen. "Oh, RJ it's you, wait what? I thought you were; you are..."
'Am I dreaming? Is this dream meant to torment me and make me suffer more?' Maine can't help but question. Unbidden tears started streaming down her face again.
"I was, but I wanted to see you." RJ looked at her with sad eyes, "No, please don't cry. I just came to say good bye"
Goodbye. That one word a lot of us hated to hear. Goodbye, a noun in it's ultimate form and when uttered there will be no turning back. Goodbye. A word Maine has learned to hate.
"Goodbye? Why did you come here just to leave again?" she softly whispered. "No, I don't want you to go. I will do anything, please RJ. Just don't go."
Her tears are now uncontrollably falling. The soft pouring of the rain outside is no match for the outburst of tears, and emotions inside that one small room.
"Shh... stop crying Dei. I would never leave you alone, you won't see me but I'll always be here. Always. Do you understand?"
"No I don't, I can't. I don't want to understand. Please don't go, take me with you. I can't live without you."
RJ shook his head, "No! I can't and I won't. I would not take you with me even if I could. Please understand that."
"No, don't do this to me. Why? Why?" I cried.
She can't live without him. Before RJ, Maine's life was in a complete mess. And he fixed it. He put everything in order and in perspective. Maine can't give him up without a fight. She will be nothing without him.
"Please don't make this too hard. I need you to understand. I can't take you with me. One day we will be together again. When the right time comes, you would be able to go there too and I... " he stopped, took her hand and placed it above his heart, "I would be waiting for you."
"Dei, it's almost time." RJ took her other, "I am not leaving you alone Dei. There is this precious gift inside you now, a part of me that will never leave you."
Dei's eyes widened upon realization of the meaning of his words.
"Dei, I want you to promise me one thing. Promise me that you'll go on no matter what. You'll never give up, you'll never quit. Promise me Dei, please. Will you do it?"
"I can't..." she whispered hoarsely.
"Please Dei, it's not just you now." His grip tightens.
"But..."
She can't say it. Something is stuck on her throat, a golf ball or something.
"Please say it, there's no more time. Say it now." He now pleaded. Tears have started streaming down his face now.
"I promise." She finally said.
RJ smiled at that, and his other hand which is not holding Dei's hand flitted down to her stomach.
He mouthed the words thank you and I love you as she left a lingering kiss in her still flat tummy.
She watched him silently fade as he whispered, "I'll always be here for you, Dei. For the both of you. I love you, I love you so much"
And she woke up. She's still in her bed crying.
Maine is not sure if it's just a dream or not. But she's sure of one thing, RJ is gone. Her prince, her protector, her other half, he is gone forever.
But true to his promise, he didn't leave her alone. He left her with a gift.
With both her hands to her stomach, she feels overwhelmed with different emotions – sadness, excitement, fear, happiness. It was overwhelming but she will soldier on.
Because just as RJ said, it's not just her now.
"From now one, it will just be you and I. Just the two of us."
