Holding On To You//Joshler

Chapter 31

♪Tyler♪

"Mm I'm sleepy" Josh whined as he forced his way under my arm, I felt conscious of Eddy but then realised he didn't care. 

"Well we shouldn't have gone star gazing then you idiot" I twirled a longer piece of Josh's hair, he sighed lightly.

"I'm not an idiot"

"Of course you're not" I grabbed my bag from under the table, "Come on I wanna go somewhere"

"Brendon much" Josh coughed.

"Hey! I just wanna show you something okay, is that not allowed?"

"I suppose so" Josh rubbed the sleep away from his eyes and let out a petite, delicate yawn.

"You're so cute you know" Did I say that as quietly as I had hoped?

"Tyler that has got to be the gayest thing you've ever said"

"Who says I'm gay?" Josh pointed to the name badge on my hoodie, "Fair enough"

Josh gasped, "Did you just come out to me?"

"You should have realised by now that I'm attracted to men"

"Attracted to me don't you mean?"

The lights crackled a little and began to rapidly flicker, eventually they died out completely. I was glad, Josh wouldn't be able to see the sea of red that was my face. Who was I kidding? I was terrified of the dark. Sure, I liked my dark bedroom but that's because it was my safe zone,school is torturous enough in the light...

"Shit" Eddy stammered, I could vaguely make out that he was feeling around the walls in attempt to find the door, "I'm going to go and find the caretaker okay, don't move boys!"

"Josh?" I said lowly, I didn't want to admit how terrified I was but I needed to feel safe.

"Tyler?" he replied as softly as ever.

"I'm really scared, please don't leave me"

Out of nowhere I felt a blanket of arms cover me, I shuddered a little in response before letting myself melt into Josh.

"I wont leave Ty, come on it wont last that long" he nuzzled against me with his chin, my head was glued to his chest - I didn't like looking in the dark, I was scared that I would see something that wasn't supposed to be there

"Promise you're staying?"

"I promise, mm and I'm the cute one"

"It's a rational fear to have okay"

"What, that monsters are in school right now because the fuse has tripped?"

"Someone could trip and fall okay"

"You do realise people can fall with the lights on"

"Oh Tyler please come to my house I cant sleep without you!" I mimicked, I didn't like feeling belittled.

"Shut up you baked me cookies, you're the lame one" he snapped, I hoped it was playfully.

"You know what, I think I might go and help Sir with the lights, maybe I'm not such a pussy after all" I wanted to move but something was holding me down, perhaps it was fear or maybe it was Josh's tight grip around me.

"Let me go Josh" I whined as I tried to pull away, but Josh was a lot stronger than I was. I smiled as I realised what was really happening

"You're scared too aren't you?" I nudged him.

"I am not scared"

"Prove it big man"

"No, I don't want to"

"Correction. You want to prove me wrong, but you cant"

"Oh yeah? Lets play a game then"

"Your games never go down well Josh"

"You think of one then smart ass!" Josh released me from his grip and breathed out heavily. The blackout scenes in movies usually resulted in the characters huddling together for safety but that didn't seem to be on the cards, the levels of testosterone and competition were as high as ever.

"Okay lets see, we can play truth or dare"

"You're so basic Ty"

"Shut up, its short notice okay, so Joshua truth or dare?"

"You know I feel funny when you call me that, don't Tyler"

"Stop avoiding my question" I prodded him.

"Dare" he muttered something about this being so lame under his breath.

"Okay, I dare you to kiss the first person you see" I suddenly regretted saying this, I realised I didn't want Josh to kiss anyone else but me.

"I'll take you up on that"

I felt Josh hold on to my chair so that he could drag his forward, strange I thought. The door was in the other direction. The room was pitch black due to the lack of windows, but I knew Josh was close, extremely close. I could hear his racing heart, I could feel it beating from the small distance between us. He was breathing heavily, in a rushed pattern. He was scaring me, the unpredictability the dark brought was scaring me.

Josh clumsily placed his hand onto my face, he traced around my skin in attempt to find the thing he was so desperately yearning for. His finger felt so soft against my lip, as our skin came into contact I felt small electrical pulses transfer across us. He was going to do it, I choked on my words, they wouldn't surface, I didn't have the capacity to say no.

His lips were chapped and rough, but that didn't stop him from being delicate and sweet. Josh worked slowly, I raised up my hands and placed them on Josh's warm cheeks. I didn't want it to end, but it had to, it had to end. I felt Josh smile against my skin as he stopped, he radiated an aura of happiness.

"Not bad for a dare hm?" Josh sniggered, I want to reply with sarcasm, with wit, with anything. But I couldn't bring myself to talk.

"Are you not gonna call me a baby for not going out to find someone else?"

I wanted to tease him, I wanted to say that he was weak for not wandering out into the darkness alone, but in truth I was glad he didn't leave, I was glad he saved that kiss for me.

"Tyler?" Josh whimpered, "Did the monsters in the dark kill you?"

"Not funny" I sniggered.

"You're laughing so it must be"

"Josh, was that okay for you?"

"What being forced into kissing you? You could've asked nicely"

"Forced?" I quivered, "You wanted that as much as I did right?"

"Hmm maybe I just didn't want to kiss anyone else, maybe I wanted to kiss you, maybe I was too scared to wander into the dark corridor alone and meet a handsome stranger, maybe I think there's monsters outside... We'll never know"

"It seemed like you meant it to me but then again I have nothing to compare it to"

"Don't dwell on it, of course I meant it, I wouldn't kiss anyone if I didn't mean it. Truth or dare?"

"Seriously?" I gawped "You wanna play a game after that?"

"Shut up drama queen come on its fun"

"Okay then, I pick truth, you're not tricking me into kissing you again"

"Tell me why you love me"