Holding On To You//Joshler

Chapter 33

an// I'm really scared that you're all going to leave because I write too much angst, I just don't want this fic to end right now, I'm not a believer in romance. I don't think you kiss someone and then everything works out fine, I wish it did but eh it doesn't and ??? I wanna make this realistic LMAO well kind of if you get me, I wanna make angst, I want to make you all feel something because the ending will feel so much better??? Please hang on, the angst will fade ah :((

✾Josh✾

"I feel like you're going to ask me to move in soon" Tyler groaned delicately as he melted into the pillow fort that I had carefully constructed.

"I wish I could ask" I placed myself next to him and cautiously leaned on his shoulder, "Does this hurt?"

He shook his head softly. From the corridor I heard keys jangling around in the lock, the sound stopped for a moment, and then presented itself again in the form of heavy footsteps.

"Is Tyler around again?" my Dad moaned from outside of the room, his voice sounded rough - he'd been drinking again.

"How did you know?"

"There's two pairs of shoes in the basket, you know I do wish you'd get more friends"

"Tyler go to my room please" I said as I rubbed him gently on the back, "I'll meet you up there soon, don't come out, don't listen, just stay there okay?" I tried to give him a reassuring smile but it was cracked, it was fading quickly.

"Josh what's going on?" Panic was surfacing.

"I've got this, just don't come out yeah?"

"I've spent my whole life hiding I think I can last this long" we both forced a light wave of laughter, none of us fully understood the severity of the situation.  I peered around the door frame to see Ty politely force a smile as he sorely limped up the staircase, my Dad glared at him with empty eyes.

"Why do you have to be so rude Dad?" I snapped, his eyes were still empty.

"Joshua you know why I'm mad"

"Don't call me that" I spat, he grabbed me by the collar.

"I moved us away from that lovely private school to this piss poor state owned excuse, I didn't just do it for the fun of it Joshua"

I bit down, "It's different here Dad, the people are different. And anyways I have other friends, I'm friends with um Eddy,Brendon and Ryan"

Luckily my dad didn't know that I wasn't really friends with any of those people.

"You know what I mean Josh, don't make me into the bad guy here, I'm far from it!"

"Yeah yeah, you're not homophobic, you just want to isolate me away from all men just in case someone has something to say about it, well guess what Dad! I don't care what people think, I don't see why you're so caught up"

I jerked my body away from his grip and staggered backwards. Dad raised a hand to his head and clawed away at his migraine.

"Don't do that Josh. Don't twist it"

"I'm not twisting anything, if you have a problem with me being gay Dad I'd rather you just tell me, I'm sick of you hiding behind your words"

He shook his head softly before melting into his hands, "This is the shit I get for trying to protect my child? I don't need it Josh, I really don't"

"Sorry to be an inconvenience"

"Josh don't say that, you're not, you know I love you for you I wouldn't change you"