Holding On To You//Joshler

Chapter 32

(PS if you don't know what a coccyx is, it's the tailbone, basically just a point at the bottom of your spine that really hurts if you bruise it, okay wink wonk)

♪Tyler♪

"I don't love you" I mumbled incoherently.

"What was that?" Josh placed his hand firmly under my chin and forced me to look upwards, "You have to tell the truth, its the whole point of 'truth' Ty"

"Josh don't" I said lowly, I didn't want him to feel the heat radiating from my skin.

"You have to tell me why Tyler Joseph, tell me why you love me"

"Don't be a dick Joshua Dun" I heard him snigger lightly.

"Touché, I'll rephrase it okay, why do you like me Tyler I mean you must like something about me"

"I like the way you're always happy, I don't know, I suppose you've made me a happier person that way"

"You'd still like me If I was sad right?"

"Do you even need to ask that Joshua?"

Josh nudged me playfully in the arm, "Stop calling me that baby"

I gasped, "We are NOT bringing that back"

"What's wrong baby?" he teased.

"That's it Josh, I swear down" I reached over to drag his chair but my arms flailed as I tried to grab onto empty space - Josh had pulled my chair from underneath me. I knew there was a reason why I hated the dark. The echo of my chair smashing onto the floor wormed itself around the room. Josh's laughter was so loud that it overpowered the sound of the chair.

"Tyler are you okay"?" he asked between his short spurts of laughter.

Pain was presenting itself in short tiny bursts, they were travelling in a upwards motion from the bottom of my spine all the way to my mouth - I was letting out low, frequent moans of pain.

"Josh I think I've landed on my coccyx funny, like honestly "I was biting down to prevent myself from crying like a child, but the pain was too much for me to handle.

"Alright alright, I'm sorry for embarrasing you like that, no one saw, you can just get up now okay" I felt him rummage around in attempt to find my hand, I grasped onto him and hoisted myself into an upright position."Come on, sit down we can talk"

"I dont want to" I whined.

"It's obvious that we need to talk at some point" he was mirroring my previous actions , Josh was using his thumb to stroke the side of my hand.

"No, I mean, I don't want to sit down, Josh I really have hurt my coccyx"

"Okay okay I believe you" But he didnt believe me, Josh playfully slammed me down onto the nearest chair and straddled me, he was effecitvely intensifiying both the mental and physical turmoil I was in.

"Josh please" the pain was no longer spreading around in short burts, it was concentrated right at the bottom of my spine.

"Mm shut up you like it" I could feel him grinning widly as he tugged at the strings of my hoodie, "I think I like being this close don't you?" I felt him wriggle around in my lap.

"Josh honestly, please" He leaned over to place his lips inches away from me.

"It's fun come on" I felt his lips caress the skin on my neck, "It's dark you don't have to be ashamed"

I whimpered lightly, "Tyler are you crying?" nervousness was leaking out of Josh's words.

"Did I go too far?" he staggered backwards and removed himself from my lap, "Shit, I'm so fucking sorry, fuck"

"No no" I cried softly, "It's not that. I wasn't lying when I said I'd hurt myself, it hurts so much Josh"

From within the darkness I saw panic flare up in Josh's eyes, "I have to go find Eddy, are you okay to stay here?"

"You said you wouldn't leave me Josh"

If panic could make a flame Josh was caught in a forest fire, "Okay, okay, put your arm over my shoulder" I clung onto Josh as a crutch, if I was being fully honest with myself I didn't need to hold him. My coccyx wasn't preventing my movement, In fact moving around was a lot better than sitting on it, but where's the fun in coming clean.

////

"Okay Tyler" the Doctor said as he peered up from his little clipboard, "You haven't broken anything, you've just lightly bruised yourself. The only thing I can suggest is to take some painkillers and try not to sit down for extended periods"

"How long will the pain last?" Josh sounded like a worried mother, he was sat next to me in the doctor's room, his hand glued to my own.

"Around a few weeks, nothing more than a month , luckily Tyler's bruising is only mild so I'd say around two weeks tops"

"Do you think I could stay off school with the pain?" I said, trying to test my luck.

The doctor laughed uncomfortably, "Haha, not really Tyler I'm sorry, and no I'm not going to forge you a note. Sorry I didn't catch your name" the Doctor turned his gaze over to Josh who was nervously twirling strands of his once straight hair.

"Oh I'm Josh"

"Okay Josh, please make sure this doesn't happen again. It's a good job Tyler here has health insurance, otherwise it would have been very expensive to have the x-ray that was pointless really"

Josh sweated nervously, "You do have insurance right?"

"No, but it cant be that expensive right?"

"Spine x-rays are like $90 dude"

My lips formed a simple o shape, "Looks like I'm breaking into my piggy bank"

"Tyler you are not paying for this, I pulled the chair out, its my fault"

"Its my coccyx that's bruised not yours, anyway you told me that I shouldn't have it, I just wanted it just in case, I worry too much"

"Tyler I am paying and that's final"

"We can go halves"

"This isn't a bill from a dinner date Tyler, come on let me take responsibility its the least I can do"

"I don't wanna fight okay, I promise I'll make it up to you Josh"

"Sleep over again Ty"

"I might as well pack the kitchen sink and come over"

"Let me take care of you Ty"

"I have a bruised bone, I'm not dying"

"Shh" he giggled, "I was making up excuses for you to come over again"

"I'm not some whore you can dial"

"Technically I am paying for you, I'm paying for your medical fees. You're my hoe"

The Doctor coughed awkwardly, "Sorry boys, just butting in to say I'm still here. I just checked your records it seems like your insurance is invalid Mr.Joseph"

"Make the check out to me please, my Dad will handle it from here, thank you for seeing us"

"Its no problem boys, just be careful next time" he waved politely as he ushered out of his room.

"Sorry for straddling you Tyler" Josh burst out in an infectious type of laughter.

"Hey! It isn't funny it hurt"

"Mm I'll just have to try it again when you're not injured"

"There's so many chairs why do you have to pick mine?"

Josh ruffled my hair, "You're so fucking innocent Tyler Joseph"