Holding On To You//Joshler

Chapter 29

AN/// sorry if you want more joshler frick I just wanted to do a mini plot line with brendon and ryan sorry ah if you hate this chapter just hmu and i'll just focus fully on joshler and not ryden!!!

★ Brendon★

Ryan hadn't aged a day, his skin still looked as soft as ever and he hadn't grown an inch.  He was a child in adults clothing. His naivety could have made him appear cute but to me he just looked vulnerable, someone who wouldn't fight back. It sickened me when I realised that I still thought like my past self, I hadn't changed at all. The only new thing about me was the fact that I'd admitted I wanted to change. Ryan was scribbling something roughly in his notebook, I could swear on my life that he was trying to catch unseen glances of me, but his glances were definitely not unseen.

"Can you stop looking at me?" I protested as I rubbed my arm, my skin was crawling. Funnily enough I didn't like being the centre of attention, not on such a personal scale anyway.

"S-s-s-sorry" Ryan stammered, his plump lips were quivering. His sensitive display of emotion was biting away at me, I wanted to reply with aggression but I had conquered the urge to be a dick.

"Its okay" I said in the most reassuring tone that I could access.

I went to rub his back in comfort but he flinched away immediately. "Shit" I whispered a little too loudly, "Sorry, I should have realised that I'm still a jerk. I wish I could take back everything I did and said you know"

"I don't hold grudges" the sparkle in his eye made me wonder whether or not he was being sincere. "We can start again if you'd like! Besides, that shit was years ago"

"I think I'd like that" an unfamiliar shade of red started to take over my cheeks.

"Did I just make the Brendon Urie blush?" he sniggered.

"Shut up, anyway what were you writing? Is it a diary? Show me"

Ryan slammed his book shut and tried to pull it away, I reached over the table and attempted to snatch it from his hands.

"Brendon don't" he pleaded.

"Come on it cant be that bad!"

"It is"

"Alright, alright" I shot my arms into the air, "Old me would've taken it but you know what the new me respects privacy"

"And so you should!" he nodded lightly and smiled a little too weakly, he was still afraid. Ryan let go of his tight grip on the notepad - an opportunity had headed my way. I picked it up and from the corner of my eye I saw Ryan curse under his breath.

"What happened to the new you?" he whimpered.

"Well its a process, anyway I didn't give you permission to write about me"

"Its a free country!" he pleaded, Ryan folded his arms like an upset child. Cute.

"That was England Ryan, this is America"

"This is the land of the free" he spat, his voice was still low despite the fact he was answering back to me.

"Whatever, I have a right to know what you're writing about me"

"Journey From Bully To the Victim - an article by Ryan Ross"

"An article?" I squeaked, "You're a writer now?"

"I've always been a writer Brendon, you presented me with an award in middle school remember?"

"Oh" I sighed before my eyes flicked back to the page.