Struggles ✔

Chapter 7.

Cole's POV

After we all ate, Lexi and I walked to the park. She was running her hand through her hair, a sign that she was nervous. We sat down on a bench and she sighed deeply.

"So...I think I should give you some answers." She says and runs her hand through her hair for the millionth time. I started to get annoyed and held her hand in mine. I didn't realize what I was doing, I just wanted her hand to stop moving so much. But when I looked up at her, she was blushing bright red. I chuckled at her reaction and nodded for her to continue.

"I guess I should start by saying that you're actually right. Other people's opinions don't matter. I know that. It's just that when I hear what they say, it's like their voices change and I hear them. I hear my parents..." She starts

My chest tightens. Her parents...

"My adoptive parents that is. I was dropped off at their door steps and because I wasn't there true child, they didn't like me. They made me like their maid. I had to grow up faster because I had to do all the chores. Their son would sometimes help me but only on rare occasions."

"Even though they treated me terribly, I still loved them because they were my parents. They kept saying things to me. The same exact things that the school says to me. That I'm fat and ugly and the list goes on. They've called me every negative name that person can be called. Since I thought they were my parents, I thought they were right."

"One day it just all snapped in me. I realized what everyone was talking about. I am everything they say I am. I'm fat and ugly and a bitch and worthless and useless. I came home one day to my family breaking the news about me being adopted. I was already having a bad day so I felt numb. That's when I started becoming anorexic. From my anorexia, I became depressed. My parents hated me and my school hated me. Everyone I seem to know and love hated me."

She was sobbing at this point. My heart broke for the girl I used to call my enemy. I didn't know that she went through all this...and then she had to deal with me and my ass at school. The guilt inside me was growing bigger and bigger. I'm one of the main reasons why this is happening to her. Me and my anger. Me and my asshole ways. Me and my stupid mouth.

"In the 10th grade I came home to an empty house. Nothing was left behind except my stupid self and a note. The note said that all three of them have moved to a place far from here. I don't know where, I just know it's far. They left me $50,000 and keys to a new apartment. I packed all my stuff, which really wasn't that much, and left that terrible place. My brother would call me from time to time. Sometimes he'd donate money to me. I closed myself off from the world and as the days go by I became more and more depressed."

"One day, I decided to end it all. NO ONE in this world cared for me. I had nothing to live for. I'm not even exaggerating. My birth parents gave me up, my adoptive parents hated me with all their heart, my brother was just trying to be kind, I pushed away all my friends and the school would probably rejoice. I had no one."

"I was so ready to jump,but then Olivia saw me. She tried her best to stop me and she actually did. Ever since then she's been my best friend. She kept check on me and always made sure I was doing well."

"When my brother found out he was able put me into rehab because of my depression. But the rehab made me feel even crazier. I felt stupid and fucked up. I got even more depressed that they started giving me depression meds. I take them everyday and that's what helped me put on my mask and pretend like I didn't care when really all the comments went straight to the heart. Recently...I ran out. I ran out and I didn't have money to buy any more. So I stopped taking it and I...had a bit of a relapse."

"Everyday for the past week, I've been walking around town. Going up the tallest buildings and looking down...I wanted to end it all but I didn't want to either. I was confused and always end up breaking down on top of the roof. I was supposed to do it again today but I bumped into Chase."

She wouldn't stop crying. She was sobbing and having trouble breathing. I didn't know what to say. She went through all that and yet she's still here.

"God I'm so pathetic...Many others have it way harder than me. But me being the weakling I am, I cry and get depressed over stupid and small things. I should be stronger and less pathetic" she shakes her head.

"Don't you say that. You deserve to be sad and mourn. After all that you've been trough, who wouldn't be depressed? Being bullied, hated and verbally abused. You deserve to be sad, but you shouldn't cry. An amazing girl like you shouldn't cry over those sick people. They're not worth your tears." I say

"I should've done better,Cole. I should have become a better person. Someone who everyone can love." She says. She tries to wipe the tears away but they keep coming.

I scoot closer to her and pull her closer. She layed her head on my chest and I wrapped my arms on her petite figure. I hugged her as she cried and comforted her. I whispered to her over and over how she wasn't any of the things people say about her.

My heart ached for this girl. She's gone through so much and she's so broken. Instead of being comforted properly, she was put in a place that comforted her because they were told to do so. And then there's her parents. Thinking about them just made my blood boil and my fist clench. How dare they do that to her?! Call her such things and made her go through so much.

I take a good look at the girl in my arms. She looked so fragile, but she's not. She's a strong person who manages to get through with her terrible life. I have infinite respect for her. She's willing to take in my problems, even when she has way too much on her plate.

I'm gonna change that. I promise to help her. I'm gonna make sure that she won't ever have to go through any struggle by herself. 

I'm gonna help you Lexi. I promise.

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