THIS MEANS WAR

Chapter 18: How big is your thing?

Warning: Boys have the power to fuck you up with just a smile so beware. I know that's not related to the chapter but it's a warning nonetheless.

I was dreading going to school. Firstly, it was Monday. Secondly, it's school. Get my drift?

I didn't want to look at his face, much less at six in the morning.

"Game face on Lexi." I muttered to myself as I finished applying my make up. I had a reason for this. I woke up way earlier than I was supposed to and I just couldn't fall back asleep, so instead I made use of that time. I'm not a fan of makeup but I don't hate it as such. I couldn't do this like a professional but I tried. Just a light layer to highlight my features. 

I pulled on my combat boots and walked towards my car.

I had washed out all the maroon stuff from my hair and was left with my dark brown hair which complimented my eyes.

I had spent my weekend working out my plan of action to bring him down to his knees and cry like a fucking two year old.

The scowl on my face deepened.

I got inside my car and revved up the engine. The whole way to school my brain could only think of scenarios that would take place once I saw his face again.

His words kept echoing in my head. All the poisonous lies he had fed me kept replaying themselves in my head.

He had made me feel worthless. He had succeeded. I regretted ever trusting him and deciding to stay when he needed me most. I wasn't forced to stay, I didn't have to do that. I stayed because I thought I could help. Because I wanted to help him. I couldn't see him broken. I couldn't watch him destroy everything around him. I wanted to give him enough affection to fill in the burning emptiness Rose had left him with.

I could have done anything to see him smile and that had come to bite me in the ass.

I parked my car and noticed him leaning against his car with a cigarette between his lips.

His eyes were on me as I got out of my car.

He chucked the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his shoe. He smiled and walked towards me. His hands flew to my cheeks. He was cupping them gently.

"Lexi, how was the weekend?" His eyes had a soft look in them. He was doing the same thing he did on Saturday morning...

*Flashback*

"You're just a weak little girl with nothing in your hands. Nothing. No friends. No love. And a family that's far away from you." His words replayed in my head and my breathing became heavy. My fists grasped the bedsheet under me. My heartbeat had picked up. His scent was killing me. I could hear his soft footsteps but dared not open my eyes, I couldn't have tears leaking again.

I felt his hand on my cheek. He was rubbing it lightly. "Lexi, you're okay." He whispered.
Was I imagining this? Was any of it real?

"Ssh, ssh, calm down," I felt him sit next to me. He forced me to let go of the bedsheet and gently laced his fingers with mine.

I opened my eyes and saw his messy brown hair covering his forehead. He was looking down at our hands. I was hallucinating, wasn't I?

I moved my hand a little and his eyes met mine. He froze. We both kinda did.

"Y-You were shaking... can't fight a sick person, can I?" He said in a deep voice.

"Let go." I couldn't just forget what he did last night. He broke every piece of me, I wasn't going to forgive any of that. My expression was hard.