'fuck it's been a long day... its not even 2pm yet', I thought, almost out loud, as I threw my bag onto the ground under the shade of a tree before slumping next to it. school just seems like a piss take at the moment, nothing anyone does ever seems to be good enough; although, the skills in which we all apparently so 'desperately lack' never seem to affect the outcomes of our exams so whats the point? The amount of unnecessary stress that school piles on to students is ridiculous; it's almost ironic that they teach us about mental health problems in teens when the education system, itself, is responsible for so much of it.
I looked up and she was there; of course she was. I smiled to myself as I watched her walk back inside the building, blissfully unaware of my attention.
13:28. She was so predictable.
I had unintentionally become familiar with her habits and have no desire to change that. I took comfort in being able to know her without knowing her; in being able to feel a connection between us without possibility of her severing it. The thought of us ever having a 'connection' of any type, no matter how loosely linked, made me happy; so happy in fact that I was now full on grinning to myself, gazing dreamily into the middle distance between the girl and I.
From the corner of my eye, I saw her turn. I could have sworn she looked at me and smiled but convinced myself otherwise: she had no reason to look at me; our paths are fated not to cross. such beautiful creatures as her didn't acknowledge people like me, she is far superior than I in every way imaginable and to even entertain the idea would be a fools dream... although I could have sworn...
I snapped back to reality as the bell rung and sighed, trudging to my next class. 'I guess I'll never know if she was looking or not now...'
