Constructing the note

115 10 7
                                        

~ Suicide ~

As I sit here clutching a pen and only

A piece of paper for company I wonder

how I'm supposed to sum up 17 years

into one short letter.


My words are so jumbled that it appears

my tears tell more of a story along with

the occasional drop of blood than my mouth

ever could.


As my mind flickers fast between every person

I've ever loved I wonder silently who deserves

to make the cut. Sobbing so hard that it seems

for once my tears are louder than my mind.


My handwriting barley readable I wonder

whether it's worth leaving a note at all or if

my lifeless body and each individual cut will

be informative enough on their own.


Gradually I jot down the names of anyone who's

had a positive impact on my life. Even more slowly

I jot down the opposite. This will be the final thing

they see of me, the final reminder I was alive.


and so.. with that knowledge I be sure to include

everything I never said, everything I dreamt, felt

saw and lied about. Everything that was me,

everything they never got to see.


A letter.. one letter that sums up my entire

existence. One letter that lets my family and

friends know that they were really living with

a stranger and there was nothing they could

have down to save her.


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This poem is dedicated to comacluster for the idea but mostly for being such a loyal reader, always voting and commenting which I appreciate hugely! Check out her own poem book!

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