There and Back Again {On Hold}

I'm sorry..

Karkat's POV:

I guess everything slowly got better after that.
No one knew I cut, well no one exempt jade. She was the only one I told.
I didn't tell John because he would freak out and tell mr Egbert and I'd get in trouble and have to to tharapy.
I didn't tell rose cause she would go all motherly on me.
I didn't tell dave cause well...I knew he would go on a rant about self worth.
It felt like jade was the only one I could tell.

I managed to keep it hidden from John and dave. It wasn't easy.
Dave would always ask why I suddenly started wearing long sleeve shirts in the summer. I think he was suspicious but he shrugged it off. I think john was too. He would constantly ask to sleep in my room with me. I had no long sleeve sleeping shirts and he knew this, I always said no and he always looked hurt.

Summer was almost over which means school is starting up soon too.
Dave only has a couple more days to spend here before his brother comes to pick him up.
I wish he could stay forever. But he can't...

Me and john were staying over at his house that weekend.
It was Friday and he had to leave Tuesday.

John and dave were playing call of duty on couch while I just sat aimlessly on the chair in the corner of the room.
Staring off into space.

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT JOHN! STOP KILLING ME! WE ARE ON THE SAME TEAM!" Dave yelled out of no where, mashing the button on the PlayStation controller.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to shoot you! I was aiming at that guy beside you!" John shouted right back at him.
"Learn how to fucking aim then!" Bellowed dave.
"You know I'm terrible at shooting games!" John shot back.

I didn't respond to them yelling at each other over a stupid game.

"Yo KitKat...you're being pretty quiet over there, you OK?" Dave looked at me with a hint of sympathy in his expression.
"O-oh yeah...I'm OK...just..t-thinking."
I cursed myself for stuttering.
"Whoa you better stop right there." He looked at me sternly.
"What?" I was confused.
"Nothing good ever comes out of you thinking."

I looked at the ground. He was right nothing good ever came from it, thinking was the reason I slapped dave, the reason I ran off, the reason I cut..

Before I knew it he was hovering over me.
"KitKat..." He mumbled.
I looked up at him.
He kiss my forehead and I blushed. Why does he make me like this?!

"Are you upset that I'm leaving in a couple days...?" He asked a hint of sadness in his voice.
"A little..." I didn't look at him.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the couch and sat next to me. I Nuzzled into his chest and he pecked my cheek and I hugged him close. I never wanted to let go.
"Hey if you guys are gonna make out or something I can just go home." John cut in making me jump.
"Na John its cool. You can stay." Dave responsed lovingly.

In that moment I knew that he wasn't just pitying me. He truly loved me and I loved him too.

We spent just cuddling and watching movies. All was great until we got ready to go to bed.

I picked up my sleeping bag and duffle to go over to the next room when dave stopped me.
John was in the bathroom so it was just me and dave in the room.

"Where ya goin kitkat?" He asked with confusion.
"The um...spare bedroom." I mumbled, scratching at my arm.
"But we always stay in here together.." He stammered.
"Well... I..." He cut me off by grabbing my arm. I winced from the pain that shot up my arm and pulled away.
His eyes went wide at my actions and I cursed myself.

"K-kitkat..?" He sounded like he was gonna cry.
I backed up to the door.
"Y-you didn't..." He mumbled more to himself then to me.
I walked out the door backwards but I tripped over a rug and fell. Dave caught my arm causing me to wince one more time. He saw he was hurting me and let go of my arm causing me to fall once more.

I got up and ran towards the door but dave was too fast and he ran in front of me and blocked the door. "No!" He yelled.
"Your not locking yourself in Roxy's spare bedroom for the rest of the night!" He sobbed out. He was crying now.
"Why the hell would you do this?!"
I didn't respond.
"How long has this been going on?!" He yelled. I flinched at his yelling.
"T-the night I r-ran off...a-and you brought me h-here b-but I had to go h-home.." I stuttered out.
He sighed and hugged me. "Don't ever do this again..." He whispered into my hair.
"P-please don't tell j-jonh." I was still stuttering.
"Come on...I've got a long sleeve you can wear..." He pulled me back into his room and pulled out the same shirt I wore last time and gave it to me.
I took my hoodie off and he gasped at the scars on my arms...there were about 15 new ones.
I hurriedly put on the other shirt.

I sat down and pulled my legs up to my chest.

Dave sat beside me and hugged me. I clung onto him and buried my face in his chest
We turned around so we were laying down now.

I only said one thing to dave the rest of the night.

"I'm sorry.."