Dear Kyle,
it's been a while.
These past weeks have been absolute hell.
Kyle I haven't been able to get out of my head. What I did playing over and over in my head.
It's hell to relive that dreaded night everyday.
My therapist told me that she thinks it would help to confront those memories. I know that I shouldn't do it. But I'm going to.
Kyle we had a fight.
It wasn't just a fight though.
I was angry and so were you. You were always so calm, but not today. I kept pushing and pushing you until you snapped.
I don't know why, but I wanted to see how far you would bend until breaking. And then you broke.
You claimed that my temper was getting worse, and that I needed to get back on medication.
Kyle do you know how much that hurt me to hear? I thought that I was getting better. I honest to God thought that you had cured me. And to hear that, it ripped me apart.
You hurt me, and so I hurt you back.
I told you how shitty of a therapist were. I also told you how I regretted ever meeting you in the first place. How I should've just done the community service option instead of choosing therapy.
"You're a fake, Kyle Simmons I don't know why you could ever think you could open your own practice. Do you fuck all your patients? Or was that just a one time fuck? You're a shitty therapist but even worse boyfriend. I don't know how you do it, but somehow you manage to fuck everything up." I started, chuckling to myself.
I honestly don't know why I was breaking you.
I could read it in your face. Your eyes were getting watery, and you were holding in a sniffle. Kyle normally the sight would have broken me, but it only fueled my fire.
"Did you really think I loved you?" A nasty smirk was on my face.
I honestly loved breaking people. It brought a rush to me that nothing else did. Some people ride roller coasters to get the rush while some smoke. And I broke people.
"Well you were so fucking wrong. Kyle, nobody could love you. I faked it all. Those late night drives where you told me all your secrets, those were my favorite. You spilled yourself to me like I had once done to you. But the difference is, I don't give a fuck."
I could see the brokenness in your eyes, and I knew I had won.
"Just go." You sighed, quickly wiping a tear from your eye before I could see. But I saw
"Bye love." I chuckled.
And then I left.
But you see I couldn't leave you be. I had broken you, but this time it didn't satisfy like it normally had. The aching I felt deep down was gnawing at me, ripping me apart.
And so two hours later I came back to our apartment. As soon as I walked in, you froze in your place. Your best friend Woody was there, holding you as you cried on the sofa. The apartment though was trashed. Broken dishes laid in pieces everywhere, everything thrown around.
"Get out." I said, practically throwing your friend out.
"What do you want?" You spat at me, both of your fists clenched with anger. It was such a contrast to your normal self.
After that my anger fell. The rolls switched, and now I was the one breaking.
What hurt the most though, was everything you shouted at me was true. I can't even repeat the things that you said to me, I'll loose it again.
Kyle you broke me and stomped on me until I was nothing. You knew almost everything about me, which only gave you more ammunition.
"No wonder you mother left."
That's when I snapped.
I pushed you to the ground, making you hit your head on the tile. You let out a god awful groan and rolled to your side, slowly getting up.
But I kept going.
I grabbed a knife from the counter and stabbed you in your ribs, feeling as the feeling deep in me was starting to take control.
Your eyes went wide as you looked down to the knife in your side, looking back at me in disbelief.
After that I grabbed you by the neck, and squeezed, until you had no more oxygen.
Even when your oxygen was gone and you laid on the tile floor, you were beautiful.
I killed you Kyle.
I killed everything that had once mattered most to me.
We had promised to grow old together. In a week we would be adopting a beautiful baby boy, we were even looking to buy a house in the suburbs together. In two months we would have gotten married, we had all these plans and I went and ruined them.
Kyle, I can finally admit that I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
We were a beautiful sand castle, and I was the wave that washed it all away. The good, and the bad, I destroyed every little thing we had built.
I'm so fucking sorry for destroying us.
Love,
Your danny
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That was so long, sorry
I'm really sorry that was such a shitty awful violent chapter
