Dear Kyle,
I broke down today. Those words seem to just keep coming from my mouth. But they're true.
You see things have been awful lately. After the incident with Will he's stayed away from me. In the courtyard when I see him, he goes the opposite direction. In group therapy he never looks in my direction. And it absolutely kills me.
He was my one friend.
To make matters worse you haven't been here and it's absolutely destroyed me. I know I shouldn't have let him do what he did. Kyle I know that I should've stopped it right when it happened.
And I don't wanna make excuses, but Kyle that was the first time in almost a year. You know how frequent we were with that sort of stuff.
All this though isn't even what I wanted to tell you about.
Today Dad came to see me.
He wanted to see how the electroshock therapy had worked because he was the one who pushed it.
"Dad please never again." I sat opposite of him, watching as he studied me. I know I must have looked like hell. I mean all I had on were my grey pajama bottoms and a white shirt and slippers. Cute I know.
"You look like hell Daniel." He said like it was a surprise. Am I supposed to look good though? For fucks sake I'm in an asylum or whatever you call it.
"I look how I feel." I snapped, a headache coming on.
"I'm guessing it didn't work?" He asked me, looking me up and down. Every time I was in trouble when I was younger he would do that. It always made me feel like such a fuck up.
"Dad look just stop trying. I'm still confused as to why you're here in the first place. But honestly just stop coming. Forget about me and just move on, find a woman or something."
But obviously that wasn't what he wanted to hear.
"Move on? Daniel how am I supposed to move on? You're all I have left." A tear ran from his grey eyes to the table.
"You should have Josie." I muttered chipping of some paint from the plastic table.
He just looked up at me with such shock it was funny almost. You see situations like this gave me life. It fucked up really.
"Oh wait I killed her." A low laugh came from my mouth and I watched as his face went from sad to disbelief.
"It was an accident Daniel you can't blame yourself."
But Kyle I can blame myself. In fact it's 100% my fault.
"Shut the fuck up." I stood up, fists clenched towering over him.
The next thing I knew I was throwing my fists at him, feeling as my knuckles connecting with his jaw bone.
My god it hurt.
After about four or five punches I could feel my arms being held behind my back as nurses rushed to help Dad.
I could tell that form the way it was tilted his nose was broken and the gash by his eyebrow was going to need stitches.
But what I hated and loved the most was when I was being dragged back to my room.
"Don't come back. I don't want to see you ever again!" I shouted watching as he silently nodded his head.
And that was the last time I saw him.
Love,
Danny
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Alright so the end is super close (four or five chapters) and I'm highkey not emotionally ready to write the end but it's alright
