The Love of Eunhae

Siwon Makes a Decision

     After what seemed like forever Leeteuk stood up and stretched. He had a cramp in his back and his leg was falling asleep from sitting on the floor for too long. He looked down into Siwon's eyes who stared right back at him.

Siwon spoke first, "So what do we do?"

"Well first I'm going to clean up your face and bandage your nose because you look like a mess."

"If someone hadn't punched me in my face might not look so bad"

     Leeteuk helped Siwon off of the floor and took him by the hand and led him to the bathroom.

Leeteuk said, "Stay here I'm going to get a few things."

     Leeteuk goes back to the kitchen to look for supplies. He grabs a bottle of water, salt, an ice pack and a styrofoam cup. After he's satisfied with his find Leeteuk returns to the bathroom. 

Siwon glances at all of the things in Leeteuk's arms and asks, "What is all of that for?"

"This is to treat your nose. After I clean off all of the blood I'm going to treat it."

     Leeteuk grabs a small washcloth from underneath the sink, wets it, and gently wipes the blood off of Siwon's face. A couple minutes and a few pained winces from Siwon, Siwon's face is clear of blood. Leeteuk pours some water and salt into the cup he brought and swirls the cup so it will mix.

Leeteuk gives Siwon a small smile, "So this next bit is going to be a little uncomfortable. I'm going to pour some of this up your nose, so I'll need you to take a deep breath and hold it while I pour this in."

      Siwon gives Leeteuk a concerned look but does as he is told. Leeteuk pours the mixture in and Siwon gags and sneezes a whole bunch.

"I thought you said that it would only be a bit uncomfortable. That was horrible. It really really stung."

Leeteuk simply replied, "Well if I told you what would happen you might not have let me do what I needed to, and besides it isn't that bad. Stop being a baby."

Leeteuk began mixing more salt water and Siwon gave him a worried look.

"Don't worry this one isn't going up your nose. There is a small cut on your nose I want to clean. You didn't have any alcohol so I'm forced to improvise. It will be better for you though. The salt water will clean the cut just like alcohol, but it shouldn't sting as bad."

     Siwon gives Leeteuk a nod and Leeteuk takes special care with the wound working methodically and swiftly ensuring the cut is cleaned properly.

"Do you have any bandages?"

Siwon replies, "Yeah, they're in the medicine cabinet."

     Leeteuk grabs one of the bandaids and bandages the cut on Siwon's nose. Leeteuk steadies Siwon's head and gently presses his thumbs against the bridge of Siwon's nose.

Siwon lets out a yelp, "What the hell was that for?"

Leeteuk calmly replies, "I'm checking just to make sure I didn't break your nose."

     Leeteuk finishes and much to the relief of Siwon his nose isn't broken. 

"Leeteuk, where did you learn all of that?"

"Well before I chose to pursue a career in music I wanted to be a doctor. I finished medical school and was about to start my residency when I realized that medicine wasn't really what I wanted to do with my life. My parents were pissed and still kind of are. They tease me about going back to medicine but they're coming around."

Siwon replied shocked, "I can't believe I've known you for so long, but I never knew this about you."

Leeteuk replied, "Well when we were together you never asked about my past and we hadn't really spoken since we ended things so it makes sense."

     Much to Leeteuk's surprise Siwon started crying. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them.

Through the sobs Siwon said, "I've been such a terrible person."

Leeteuk couldn't stand it anymore and walked out of the bathroom. He put the supplies he had found back where he found them, laid on the couch and fell asleep. Later in the night Leeteuk woke up and found Siwon's arms wrapped around him and he felt butterflies stir in his stomach. Leeteuk thought to himself, "I can't start having feelings for him again. The kiss was a mistake. I have to end this before it starts." Siwon stirred and pressed a long and loving kiss to Leeteuk's forehead. 

"Siwon."

"Yes Leeteuk."

Leeteuk looked away from Siwon's anxious eyes, "I don't think we should be doing this."

"Doing what? Cuddling?"

Leeteuk replied annoyedly, "You know what I'm talking about. We can't be together or I should say I can't be with you."

"Oh."

Leeteuk stayed silent.

"So I'm guessing that kiss didn't mean anything, because I'm pretty sure I felt something."

"Siwon don't do this."

"Why not? I know you still have feelings for me, and that's not my ego talking. You know the only reason I treated you so bad is because you're the only guy I ever fell in love with. I was scared and I told myself if I didn't treat you that way you would leave me for a better guy. Well I tried that out and it didn't work. You still left me, and I took it out on everyone I dated after you. Now I realize I couldn't have been more wrong. I should've treated you so much better. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be a better person. All I need is the chance to prove it to you."

"Siwon you don't know how I feel. I can't just go back to dating you after everything you've done to me and my friends. I don't even understand why Kyuhyun forgave you. I wouldn't have if you had put me in that dark of a place."

"Then why the hell did you come here? Why did you let me kiss you. Why did you let me hold you after? Why did you help me with my nose, and why the hell are you still here in my arms having conflicted emotions?"

"I'm not having conflicted emotions."

"Leeteuk it's written all over your face. You say you don't want to be mine, but yet when you say that I see longing in your eyes. You say you'll never forgive me but there's compassion and love in your eyes. You know what since you're so conflicted I'll make the choice easy for you. Get out. Get out and don't come here ever again. I'm tired of playing games and I'm definitely not going to play games with you. Have a nice life."

     Leeteuk stared at Siwon with his mouth wide open. This isn't at all how he expected the conversation to go. He just wanted Siwon to understand and it seems like Siwon understood more than Leeteuk did. Siwon let go of Leeteuk and went to the kitchen. A few seconds later he returned with a bottle of water. 

"Drink this before you go to bed so your hangover won't be super terrible tomorrow. Oh and next time you are thinking about coming to pay me a visit do us both a favor and just don't.

     With those last words Leeteuk snatched the water from Siwon's hand and slammed the door to the apartment on his way out. Leeteuk practically sobbed and sprinted home at the same time. He fell going up the stairs to his apartment , and when he finally made in the door to his apartment and passed out on the couch. The next morning Leeteuk awoke to a pounding headache and knew he should have listened to Siwon.