{ON HOLD} Where My Loyalties Lie (Vanoss Crew Fanfic)

Chapter 22

Haley's POV

The funeral had been relatively short. It was Evan who had gone to the backyard and dug the graves while the rest of us were still getting over the shock of Tyler's death. Even though I hadn't liked him very much, obviously not sharing as deep a bond with him as the other guys, I was still shell shocked by Tyler's death. I had always taken him as the solid rock of the group (besides Evan), the man they could depend on to get them through tough times, the one they looked to when things went south.

Yet here he was wrapped in a blue tarp, six feet under.

We had buried Kelly to the right of him and Bobby to the left. All three of their graves were marked by three simple, wooden crosses that had their names carved into the bark. All of the guys were there, mourning the loss of their friend that had finally snapped and gone to the grave with his newly wedded wife. Few words had been spoken, with Evan only giving a small speech as the others stood in a loose circle, numbly staring at the fresh piles of dirt in front of them. None of them really paid any attention to what he was saying, but I did.

"There's nothing we can do now," Evan had said towards the end of his speech, "And we all know that there's no way in hell that Tyler would want us to cry over him. That fucking asshole..." Even though those words were insults, the way he said it made it come out as affectionate. Evan shook his head and wiped away a stray tear that had crawled down his face before he continued, "Anyways, what I'm trying to say is... we have to make sure that we remember all the good times we shared with all of these people, not remember the empty husks they have become. What we buried are not them, and they will never die. Because they will live on here," Evan said, putting his fist to his heart, "in our hearts."

After that speech, Evan had disappeared from the funeral, only stopping for a moment to pay his respects to the dead before he disappeared into the building. I stood in the shadow of one of the trees in the backyard, watching his departure from the funeral. I would've thought that he wanted to be with all the other guys as they mourned Tyler's death, but it seemed that he wanted to do that alone; yet, I found the urge to go find him and comfort him. I actually found myself making a move to walk into the building but caught myself. Easy there Haley, I chided myself as I settled back into the space between the roots at the base of the tree, give him some time to himself.

So I'd give him time.

Later, I found him on the roof of the building alone as he stared out into the night sky, the stars twinkling overhead. He definitely heard the sound of the door closing as well as the sound of the gravel on the roof crunching under my feet, but he didn't say anything. It was only after a few minutes of silence passed by that he finally spoke up. "You know," Evan started, "when I was younger, my dad had told me that every single one of the stars up in the sky was a person who passed away. He told me that they were here to watch over us, to give us light even in the darkest of nights. I used to think that it was a silly story, but if it is true..." Evan paused, looking up at the stars with a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Then I guess it's a bit comforting to know that Tyler, Bobby and Kelly are watching over us."

I stepped up next to him at the edge of the roof and studied him as he watched to stars above us. His face was relaxed, his strong jaw loosely holding his mouth closed. His brown eyes observed the stars and although there was a hint of sadness hidden in the depths of his pupils, the smile never left his face. Evan suddenly turned his attention away from the stars and shifted it to me and he frowned, an unreadable expression on his face. "How are you holding up?"

I almost laughed. Just today, he had been stabbed, carried Bobby all the way back to base in the sweltering heat, helped fend off a zombie horde and watched three of the people he knew die. And he was the one asking how I was just because my boyfriend had died? But instead, I just shrugged and replied, "I'm doin' okay I guess. How about you?"