"How can I be so selfish?" Tobuscus, Pewdiepie, CinnamonToastKen, Cryoatic Fanfic

Chapter 19

Toby P.O.V

"Ken stop!" I laughed.

"Oh come on, you know it's hilarious to tease you, and you like it!"

"I'm ticklish okay, I admit it already!"

"Finally! See, now this could have been over much earlier if yo had just admitted to it sooner!"

"I wanted to atleast win at something! God Dangit, Ken!"

Butterflies were literally just buzzing all around in my stomach right now. I was hanging out with Ken in his room before our last day at Vidicon and we were just talking, messing around. I didn't really know or understand why I felt this way about Ken. I had feeling for Felix didn't i?

Although I knew very well and dearly that I didn't have a chance with him, and I actually adored the personality Ken had. He makes me feel flushed, nervous inside, but I never felt like this with Felix. The though of Ken made my heart pound against my chest more than it has for anyone. Could I possibly have these new come feelings for Ken? Should I embrace them? Maybe this is my heart telling me to move on and there are other people in the world for me.

I think... I actually think I have deep new found feelings for this guy, and I barley even met him. I hadn't knew who he even was a week ago. Of course I was aware of who he was, but I didn't know him personally. Everyone is different of camera, or off game play recording. Ken was soft, caring and playful, and I was attracted to it.

"You're just fun to mess with! I could keep doing it."

"No no no no no, no thanks!"

"Alright, I won't do it, just because you begged and I thought it was sorta cute."

Did I actually hear him correctly? He said it was sorta... Cute did he not? He thought I was cute? No, he doesn't think you're cute, he thinks what you were doing was cute, pull yourself together Toby. Those words coming out of his mouth made my heart skip a beat, why did I find him so utterly attractive all of a sudden?

"Cute?"

"Uh-h, well yeah. You were just a-a cute and adorable when you said it, you know?" He stuttered.

I wanted to smile like an idiot now, what I did was adorable? No, this time you can say it. He said you were cute and adorable, said it himself. One thing. Is he just messing with you, or was he really being serious? The stuttering... Was he afraid to admit he actually found it that was legit? All these questions roamed your mind, unanswered but you desperately wanted to know for sure, you just don't know how you're going to get what you're trying to find, what you're looking for.

"Okay Toby, maybe I should tell-" he began to say before we were interrupted.

"Toby, Ken, something's wrong with Felix, I need you quick. It's really fucking serious, he's really not doing alright."

Something is wrong with Felix? The worry built up inside me, I cared about him deeply. Inside me, I loved him... So much. Even if he isn't mine I still really care about him, and hearing Cry come about this really made me panic. Although... It can't really be that bad right?

Wrong.

Ken P.O.V

I felt upset about what Felix is going through, but he was able to get through the panel fine, although the wasn't exactly the full joyful cussing Felix you'd expect. I turned over to Toby as he watched people leave the room as we waited for it to be clear and we could get to fix. He didn't seem exactly himself either, was he upset.

"Hey, Toby, you alright man?" I asked.

"Uhm yeah, I'm fine." He laughed, but I could tell he was trying to hide how he was really feeling.