Once in a Lifetime

20

Wendy's Point of View

Today is a special day. For me. Its my 19th birthday. Usually on my birthdays, it was just like any other day. But this year I want it to be different. No more birthday ramyun noodles and loneliness. Just friends and an actual cake with candles, so I can make a wish is all I need this year before I go to Korea.

I invited Yeri over to celebrate because I wanted her and V to come to good terms before I leave and because sadly she really is the only friend I have. And of course I did not have to invite V, he already made the pleasure to enjoy my place anyway.

I baked my own birthday cake from a recipe online and prepared side dishes and drinks. Simple but different. V said he really was not going to buy me a present and he actually was not. Instead he sat there enjoying my couch and TV. There was a knock just as I finished setting the table.

"Wendy, I thought it was just us, you invited someone else? Mark?" V asked me but I did not make any effort to respond. Stop dreaming, this is not a date, its my birthday. So of course I can invite however many people I want.

I opened the door. Yeri arrived on perfect timing, but to my disappointment, it looked like she did not bring a present either. No presents like every year, but that's fine. I have cake. That I baked. Yeri took her shoes off in common respect.

"Happy birthday." She said to me and to V: "Hi."

We all sat at the table and although there was awkwardness, I could feel that Yeri and V were trying their damn best to not make it feel that way by putting me in between them. We ate the side dishes in almost complete silence. There were talks here and there, but they did not feel the same as before. This was definately a different birthday.I brought out the cake and V and Yeri sang happy birthday to me. I made a wish and waited a moment before cutting to see if Yeri would offer to takes pictures with me and the cake to post on SNS. There was none so I proceed to cutting. Once I gave out the slices, Yeri spoke but what came out, I did not expect and the disater that came after I would not have expected to come ever. It was all in the past.

"I cannot take this anymore! How long are you going to keep it a secret? Do you find it funny to trick me?" Yeri cried out. "Do you?" She said directing her question this time to V.

"Um... Yeri what do you mean? I... I don't understand." I said and V nodded in agreement. Yeri reached into her pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. V recognized it right away and tried to take it away from Yeri.

"V stop that. Let Yeri finish." I said and he reluctantly stopped. "What is it Yeri?"

Yeri threw the fold piece of paper at me and said, "Read it."

To my Wendy from my old past (I think),

I don't know if you remember like I do. Or if you're just acting like you don't know. Cause I really don't know. But I do know that my feelings remains unchanged. When I saw your bangle and then that dream, it was enough for me to know that you lied that day, it was me not Taemin. Why  did you lie? Everything fit like a puzzle, no missing piece. But that's not the point. The point is when you entered my life again and I knew nothing of you, I fell in love with you. The you now, not of the past which I don't remember much. I am writing this even though I should be picking you up for the dance delivering you to a future that would probably not have me and I don't want that. I spilled my feelings on paper, but I'm not sure if I have the guts to tell you since I doubt the feelings I have, that one day I would wake up from this dream and break you because I finally realized I never loved you. That maybe the feelings I have now were built on some kind of fantasy. I am really scared to take the step. But I am most scared of losing and hurting you again like I did years back. You deserved better.

"V what is this?" He did not answer, but instead took the paper from me and gave it a quick glance before crumpling it up. I could see his jaws clench and unclench. That letter was not something I should have seen. Or read.

"Stop acting. Both of you. I knew something was going on between you two, I just never thought it dates so far back." Yeri confessed.

"Yeri, its a misunderstanding-" I tried to calm Yeri, but she cut me off.

"You're a liar! I was a fool to trust you. I told you everything, why didn't you tell me everything?"

Tears formed in Yeri's eyes now and mine were threatening to spill any moment.

"Yeri! How can you talk to your unnie like that?! Show respect! You are still the dongsaeng!" Taehyung lectured.

"She's not my unnie. Not anymore." Yeri bitterly said, avoiding my eyes.

That really stung. But that motion was all I needed to know that it's not the truth.

"If that's the case, then I'm not your oppa." Taehyung said aggravated. Taehyung grabbed my arm, snatching me from my frozen state, and pulled us away from Yeri. We were leaving. Leaving  with this problem still unresolved. Before we could get too far, I turned around.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. That's when Yeri crashed. It was like her knees gave up. Like she gave up. Defeated. But this wasn't a war. There was no victorious winner. She cried out to Taehyung, but he didn't budge. No hesitation, I pulled to get his attention, but he was too strong and pulled me to walk faster. This wasn't how things were suppose to end.

It was night and V and I were now at a gas station in his car. Not speaking. I replayed the scene over and over in my head.

"Wendy-" V started.

"Don't say anything right now. This silence. Hear it? I thought I was tired of it. It enveloped too much of my old past that I thought I would never miss it. I was wrong." I interrupted V and thought I must be drunk from what I just said. V respected the silence and kept quiet.

"V, the average girl lies about 3 times a day. Boys lie about twice as much. Maybe all this time you were lying to yourself about loving me." I finally said after figuring out how to say it and then forcing myself to actually say it because after finding out that V still loves me I was touched but it just can't be that way. The timing was off.

"I thought about that. I thought about it again. I even thought about it once more, but I know that I sill love you." V rebutted.

"Alright. Seems like you're not going to budge. Then how about this: There are too many chances in life. You just can't catch them all." I tried.

"Are you saying you're not going to give me a chance?" V asked.

I did not answer him. That was up to him to decide. Instead I said, "I'm going to Korea to prepare to debut. I wanted to tell Yeri today, but you know there are too many chances in life, you just can't catch them all. You'll relay the message for me?"

"You know I do have a present for you." V said going off on a tangent. This conversation had no flow, going from one topic to another.

"Thats not important anymore. An hour pasted already from my birthday." I forced myself to say that, but I really wanted to know. Then tears slowly slid down. The tears I kept back all this time.

"I am going home now. Don't follow me, I am not your little girl anymore. I'm taking the bus." I said as I got out the car. I waited for the bus and when it finally came I got on and and cried very hard. When I collected myself, I came to a conclusion that I was leaving today, so I booked a flight at midnight. I decide to stop school becuase who needs it anyway?

I walked up the stairs to my apratment and found that Yeri had left. I packed quickly since there was not much to pack. As I walked from my room, I stopped to eat a bite of the cake and left a note for V next to it. I took one last look at my place and left my old past for a new future that will probably never have V. I was not sure, but I was tired of thinking. Before I made another fall and regret it later I want to remember that I was sure of it.

Want to know what V got for Wendy bday? And why the locket necklace V gave Wendy for xmas does not open. Wait for the epilogue and you will know everything.