When All is Lost One is Found

Chapter 1: Realizing Reality

When All is Lost One is Found

Author: Rinoaebastel

Chapter 1: Realizing Reality

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and gain no profit from this fanfiction other than writing practice. Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling.

AN: This story may contain scenes taken from the Harry Potter movies and books, but it's not exact dialogue, just rewording of dialogue or omission. It is not marked.

June 1976

He thought James Potter was a dyed in the wool git. Everyone in Slytherin would agree, but almost everyone in his house hated Gryffindor so that wouldn't be unusual. It wasn't outright said, but even some members of other houses felt Gryffindors were favored amongst the staff. They were the powerful, the popular, the good-looking, and seemingly always got everything they desired.

And they hated him. Since the day he stepped into Hogwarts, he was the smartest in his class. He was the one almost all of the teachers were happy to teach despite his Slytherin loyalty. But his skills and intelligence only created jealousy and envy from a certain group of students, and pain for himself brought forth by James Potter and his friends.

He looked down at the table as the food appeared in front of them. It was a banquet fit for kings, but he wasn't hungry. He couldn't tear his gaze away from Potter and Lily. She'd been the most important person to him. The person who accepted him and had shown some affection toward him.

Then he was hit with the reality that he was alone and always would be. Potter had Lily, and any semblance of a friendship they once had was gone.

He stood and grabbed his books. If he didn't get out of there he might do something that would lose points for his house.

He crossed the great hall and went down to the lake. He could sit there for hours, reading, correcting, studying potions and creating new spells. The prefect Malfoy and most of his housemates praised him for that. Slytherins might be like snakes, low to the ground and out of the way, but they were worth as much as anyone else. His feet guided him by instinct until he reached what he deemed his spot. He sat under the willow, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, relishing in the smell of the freshly cut grass.

He opened his book and started reading. Every so often he wrote in the margins to correct some measurements and improve the effects of ingredients. If he were to attain a position as a potions master, he had to be better than everyone else. If he gained more skill in something Lily was interested in, maybe it would open her eyes and show her that he wasn't bad because he was curious about the Dark Arts. Why wouldn't he be? They were practical and could keep egocentric men like Potter in line.

A bunch of laughs interrupted his thoughts. His lips pursed and he hid his face with his book, wishing it were possible to conceal his entire presence. He knew those laughs as if he'd created them himself. He had to remain calm and ignore them. If he did that, then maybe they'd ignore him. Severus leaned so close to his book that his nose brushed its pages. He took slow, deep breaths to calm himself. After years of humiliations, mockery, and the loss of everyone he dared to care about, he didn't want to deal with them if he could prevent it.

But he refused to be afraid of them. He was a Slytherin. He was proud, powerful, and intelligent. He could cope with this. Normally, he ignored the pesky pranks, but it didn't seem to dissuade the group. All he wanted was to be left alone, but that was clearly too much to desire.