When All is Lost One is Found

Chapter 66: Touch

When All is Lost, One is Found

Author: Rinoaebastel

Chapter 66: Touch

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and gain no profit from this fanfiction other than writing practice. JK Rowling owns Harry Potter.

AN: This story may contain scenes taken from the Harry Potter movies and books, but it's not exact dialogue, just rewording of dialogue or omission. It is not marked.

This was insane.

She wouldn't do this.

She wasn't that foolish.

He was in denial until her scent reached him. A scent similar to his own.

Yes. Yes, she was that foolish.

And he was foolish enough to stand there. Weak enough. He should've pulled away, but her warmth froze him more than the cold around him. He was thankful that this particular area wasn't viewable from the castle thanks to the large line of trees.

"Whatever happened...Please let me go with you." He felt her voice against his back as she spoke. The soft gentle rumble sent a chill and calmness through him.

He didn't want to calm down. He wanted to get lost in his rage. He wanted to push her away. Curse her. He wanted to...to...He wanted to stop fucking lying to himself.

"Get the hell away from me," he snapped.

She didn't move from her massive and daring intrusion of his personal space. She squeezed him tighter.

"I told you to get the hell away from me, Granger."

"No! I don't care what you try to do, I won't leave you here."

He tried to force himself to move, but if he jerked away too quickly, she'd fall and get wet and possibly hurt on the rocky ground.

Yes, he'd tell himself that was the reason. Not that his reasons were because he actually wanted her comfort. That he truly desired the peace and tranquility that she gave with her presence.

"Foolish girl! You don't know what is going on, so go back to the castle and—"

"I may not know it, but I know you're upset. Tell me you stubborn man!"

This girl. This stupid... Damn her friendship and that Gryffindor loyalty. Loyalty he admired. And if anyone was an idiot here. It was she.

"I could hurt you this time if..." His voice came out softer, trying to convince her to go.

"You won't. I have faith in you. I trust you, and I will help you."

He could tell from her voice that she didn't carry a hint of doubt, but he did. He didn't understand this witch. She constantly challenged him, surprising him with new or rare experiences. This hug was one of them. This support was one of them.

He raised a trembling hand and placed it on one of hers. She was just as stubborn as he was.

"Very well," he said and apparated away with her.

-/-/-

They arrived in his house. Just a house since this was never a home. Hogwarts was home right now. Later he wasn't sure. Everything was the same as when he left it. His dusty bookshelves and messy living room greeted them.
He took a breath, released her hand, and pulled out of her hold. Instead of turning back, he took a step forward, avoiding her and focusing on his bookshelf. Those books were the only things he could consider his. Standing in this place was nearly as sickening as bowing in front of the Dark Lord.

"Is this your house?" He lifted his hand to touch one of the many books. He'd make sure to bequeath them to her in his will.

"The Rogue Alchemist," he muttered as he picked up the book with a slow movement. "It was my favourite book when I was a kid." He took a breath and closed his eyes; the rage had subsided, replaced with mild anger and melancholy. "It was the only thing my mother could ever buy me."

"S-Professor..." The care her voice carried almost made him fall on his knees like a desperate man that thirsted for affection as much as water. "I'm here for you. Would you... would you tell me about this place? Without a pensieve.

He didn't deserve her, but the need to keep her in his life became intense. He knew he wasn't an easy man to understand, but she had the miraculous ability to do so.

She had thrown herself into the path of his consuming rage and melted it away.

He didn't feel alone anymore. He realized it the moment her arms moved around him and she refused to go despite his anger.

His fear to show his humanity to her had faded, what little doubts he had about her were gone.

"I'm a difficult man with not many words to offer."

With a small piece of bravery, he turned to face her. Her posture was relaxed. She had no anger, no fear, and no disgust on her face. Just acceptance.

"I only care if they have truth behind them. We are quiet people, but that doesn't mean we don't feel."

He moved towards her and offered her the book. With careful hands, she took it.

"I want you to have this and the rest of these books when I'm gone," he said, with the gentlest voice he'd ever heard himself speak.

"I..."

"For now, I'll keep them in my shelves in my quarters."

"Why not keep them here?"

He took a deep breath. "I... I want to destroy this place. No, I need to do it."

Granger hugged the book to her chest.

"No one will care if this place burns down. It will probably be done once I'm dead anyway. I'm surprised it hasn't been done yet considering the way everyone hates me."

"I don't," she said, voicing something he knew already but treasured to hear regardless. "I never have hated you."

"Like I said, you aren't capable of hate, but I'm grateful to hear it."

"But why do you have to destroy it now? Did something happen?"

She had demonstrated that he had nothing to fear, but still, right now he was scared of how much he needed her support and friendship. This young witch, this gentle soul... Merlin, fate was so cruel. He knew someday he would hurt her when he died.

He walked to one of the old ragged sofas and took a seat.

Lowering his head to hide his face behind his dark hair, he entangled his hands with each other and started to order his thoughts.

She startled him when her palm touched his hands. He closed his eyes and focused on her skin against his, as if he could gain strength from her.

"You saw the owl I received today."

"Yes, you were very sweet to it."

"It brought news," he said as if she couldn't guess that already. He took a deep breath. "My father is dead."

AN: Oh, Severus... Again, this chapter will have another draw as companion piece that I will post later...Let me know what you think! And see you later ;)