When All is Lost One is Found

Chapter 2: From Snivellus to Severus

When All is Lost One is Found

Author: Rinoaebastel

Chapter 2: From Snivellus to Severus

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and gain no profit from this fanfiction other than writing practice. Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling.

AN: This story may contain scenes taken from the Harry Potter movies and books, but it's not exact dialogue, just rewording of dialogue or omission. It is not marked.

Droplets of warm water caressed his skin as he rubbed off the grime from a day he wanted to forget. He cut off the water and started drying off. As he did so, he avoided looking at the mirror. He wasn't an attractive person and that was probably one of the many reasons why Lilly was out of his reach. Clearly, she didn't go on personality if she hung around Potter, so he was out of luck in that aspect as well. He wasn't a fool. He loved her but held no hope that she would ever reciprocate, and his chances went into the negatives after today's incident.

Still, she shouldn't have been there. She shouldn't have looked at him when he was... He pressed his hands against the sink and forbade his thoughts from going any further. After cleaning his towel with magic and dressing in clean clothes, he walked out into the common room and glanced at the clock. It was dinner time, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stomach a meal.

There was something more important he needed to do.

He left the common room, but instead of going to the dining hall he directed his footsteps toward Gryffindor tower. He would wait for her there.

-/-/-

Hours passed and he stood patiently, watching as all the idiotic Gryffindors with their full bellies walked to their common room. He even had the displeasure of watching Potter and company returning. Since he was in the shadows, they either didn't see him or paid him no mind. They were nothing but presumptuous walking chunks of human defecation. Then, he heard her voice. He started to shake so he took a deep breath to try to calm down. He could do it. But he needed to be alone with her.

Gathering what little courage he had, he step out from the shadows and cleared his throat. Not exaggerated, yet loud enough to startle the group of Gryffindor girls. He didn't care what they thought. His main concern was the problem with Lily.

She was staring at him with such a cold stare that he momentarily forgot what he was there for. He gathered his thoughts and began. . "L-lily... May I—"

She turned away from him and walked towards the fat lady's portrait. A pain shot through his chest. She didn't want to talk to him.

He couldn't let things stay like this. He'd made a mistake and . . . and she was the only friend he had. If he lost her he'd... "W—wait please I just want to..." He avoided looking at the other girls, but he didn't need to. He knew they wanted to hex him.

"You want to insult me some more?" she finished for him. "Wasn't it enough to call me mudblood? What you said hurt, Severus. I expected more from you."

"I-I-I..." Stuttering! He was bloody stuttering!

Expected more from me. She should expect the same from Potter. Of course he'd be held at fault, golden boy could do no wrong. Still, she was his friend. She was worth swallowing his pride for. But before he was able to do it, she'd already disappeared behind the painting.

His voice frozen and his legs didn't respond to his orders to follow. But what did he expect? A familiar spark of anger coursed through him, taking the place of pain. He was treated like garbage in front of her, and a single word shouldn't have turned her against him. It wasn't an excuse for what he called her, but she should at least hear his explanations. Couldn't she recognize that he said the word out of fear and shame?