Dreams Only Last For A Night - (Jalex)

Chapter 21 - How Can I Live Without You

I got a call this morning, it was from the guy at the car repair place, to let me know that my car is ready and that I can pick it up whenever. After weeks of going without it, I can finally have my baby back. It's my dad's old black BMW, he was going to give it to me on my graduation day but he said that since it's my last year as a high school student and all that I shouldn't have to ride the bus anymore - he would soon regret those words though.

The first week, I accidentally rammed the back of a fucking taxi cab and the man who owned the vehicle wasn't too pleased with me fucking up his ride. Lucky, he didn't press any charges, saying that I'm "just a stupid kid, who obviously needs to start paying more attention to what's right in front of him." Yeah, I'm not even kidding, those were his exact words.

His car wasn't as bad as mine though, so I don't know what the fuck he was complaining about. Hell, for all the shit he was saying, I should have just rammed into him harder and kept ramming into the back of his stupid, pathetic excuse of a taxi cab and then he'd actually have something worth complaining about. Asshole anyways.

The smelly taxi man may have a point though; I do got to start paying more attention to what's right in front of me.

I've been hurting the one person who I didn't want to hurt, Alex. I never realized how badly I was actually hurting him until Jenny's party. I never wanted to be there for him before when he actually needed me and now that he doesn't, that he might actually even hate my guts, I want to be there for him more than anything in the world right now. I know I hurt him and I'm probably the last person he ever wants to talk to ever again, but I need him. I need him more than he will ever need me. That's the thing though - he doesn't need me at all. He's fine on his own, better even. Me on the other hand, am not so fine on my own, but I'm not just looking for anyone to fill that void, I want Alex. I've always have. He completes me, keeps me grounded and most importantly, gets me. He understands me, accepts me, without judgement. Without pity. Alex just genuinely cares about me, whether he would like to admit it or not. He also loves me. I always knew he did, in the 'brotherly-best-friend' type concept, anyways. I don't know if that statement I just compounded in my head is that much of the truth anymore as our friendship maybe no more. The constant fear of losing Alex is never far from the back of my mind, matter of fact, it's all that is on my mind. I can't lose him. I'd be lost without him. He's the love of my life. He was made especially for me, and no one else. We belong together.

"Jack, honey! You're going to be late for school!" I heard my mom shout from down stairs.
"Yeah, I'm coming!" I sighed. I pulled myself off my bed. I was surprisingly already dressed, I had on my favorite pair of converse, black skinnies and a green day shirt with a hoodie Alex had given me a couple of weeks ago. I didn't feel like spiking up my hair today, grabbing a black beanie from the closet and putting it on; my hair went flat down covering most of my left eye when I did. I hated when my hair was flat but I got to admit that I don't look half bad with it.

"Sweetheart?" I heard my mother on the other side of the door, "you dressed yet? Can I come in?"
"Yeah I'm dressed, mom. Come in."
Moments later my mom peeked her head in, she had the biggest grin on her face.

"What?" I stood looking at her in confusion but managed a small smile.
"You have a visitor." She whispered with that grin still plastered on that lovely face of hers.

A visitor? I wonder if it's Alex. I highly doubt it's him though. It's been a week since Jenny's party, which was also the last time I've seen him. He also hasn't been to school in the past week - I wonder if he's ok. I would've went to check but I felt like that would have just made things worse between us. Thought he could use the time away from me to smooth things out with Stella. As much as it pains me to say this - he needs her more than he needs me right now. I totally understand though; that's his girlfriend after all. The one who has his heart.