Love... A Niall Horan Love Story

Chapter 10: Sorry, Not Sorry

Brielle's P.OV. 

I blinked several times as the question sunk it. Did he... just ask me out? Holy sh*t, I never expected that a guy who read my diary would ask me out. Niall looked at me hopefully.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, hating myself for saying it. "But I'm not really in a relationship place, you know?"

Niall's eyes seemed to dim, and I felt guilty. "Maybe another time?" I offered.

Niall nodded. "It's okay, I understand." His voice sounded so... dead. "But I'm not going to give up." I blinked to show that I was totally confused. His voice grew stronger. "I'm not going to let you go that easily," he said. "I really like you, and I'm not going to just let you walk away. I've done that already."

With that, Niall Horan walked out the door, leaving me gaping like a fish behind him. Addie ran in the room, almost beside herself with excitement.

"Do you know who that was?" she squealed, jumping up and down. I just stared out the door. "That was Niall Horan!" Addie jumped higher. "He's super famous! And he wanted to talk to you! What did he want?"

"He asked me out," I said, not looking at her.

"That's great!" Addie squealed. "What did you say? Tell me you said yes!"

"I said no," I said, still staring at the now closed door. Did that really just happen? 

"What?" Addie asked, half-horrified, half-shocked. "How? He's in the most famous band in the world!"

I shrugged. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

Addie shook her head, sighing loudly. "You know you don't mean that."

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I stood in my room, staring at my diary. I wanted to write in it, but now I was afraid. Niall had touched that book. Who knew what was wrong with it now? Finally, my desire overruled my fear and I sat down, grabbing a pen.

If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius.

Today, I met a boy. Well, I met him before. He saved my life, see. He saved me so I could write in you again. But then you were gone. And now you're back. It's a long story that I don't have time to tell. But this boy, he read my diary, read you, and gave you back to me. So I'm grateful for that. But I never said thank you. I feel guilty, but I also feel angry because he read you, and you were mine.

So now I'm confused. A lot has happened since you left, though I know it wasn't your fault. I dropped out of college, made a best friend, got a regular gig singing, and the boy I should hate asked me out. I said no. Should I have said yes? I felt horrible because he looked so disappointed. But I'm afraid, to be honest. I'm afraid that he'll leave me because I'm a freak and he's famous and I'm a murderer and he's a member of one of the biggest boybands in the world. I'm afraid that he'll leave me like James did. Great, now my tears are on this page too.

One day, I'll be fine so I'll be able to write in you without crying. I'm  sure you'd like that. Would you like that? I'm sure you don't want a shower everyday. But still, I like him, for some bizarre reason. And he likes me. Why, I'm not exactly sure. But on another note, I sang Who Knew at my gig today, I started crying because three years ago, if you told me my brother would die, I would have killed you. I'm sorry, but I love my brother. I can't accept that he left me. My dad left me. My brother left me. You left me. I don't want to give anyone else the chance to leave me.

Sorry diary, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to write in you much longer. I'm scared for you. I don't want to lose you again. You were my one confident. Now I have Addie. That's my best friend. I can talk to her, and I can sing too, if I need to. So, dear diary, this is the last time I'm writing in you. Bye. Love you.

Love...

the ' loner'

I sighed as I reread my entry. This is the last time. I promise. This diary is like a drug, and drugs are bad for you. I'm so, so sorry. But I can't write in you anymore. You're too vulnerable. I think I'll go sing.

I grabbed my guitar and a sheet of paper. I started strumming random chords before I began to sing.

"If I told you... I was sorry... you wouldn't believe me. But I am... Oh, I am so sorry," I wrote those lyrics down. Recently, I'd been writing. I forgot to tell my diary... No Brielle,  I told myself. No more writing.

"Brielle!" my mother called.

"What?" I shouted back.

"Someone's here to see you!"

I groaned and got off my bed. When I reached the downstairs, I felt like groaning even louder. A policeman stood in my entry hall. 

"Can I help you?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes, I want to ask you some questions," he said. "Where were you the night your brother died?"

I sighed. "We've been over this, officer. I was taking a walk. I went over the bridge, down about fifteen blocks, then I came back. It took about half an hour."

"That seems oddly specific," the policeman said.

"I walk there almost every day for college," I said. "I know the area pretty well."

The minute I said that, I knew I was screwed. To the cop, it was like I confessed. 

"We also have recived reports that you nearly assaulted several students and a professor at your college. You also haven't been attending classes," he said.

"The professor in question was accussing me of things I did not do, like going to jail and killing my brother. Yes, I got mad. And I don't want to be a doctor, so I am no longer attending college to become one. Now I would like you to get out of my house. I am extremely busy."

I pushed the officer, gently, out the door. "Sorry I don't have more time," I said, closing the door. Once it clicked, I chuckled to myself. "Not sorry." 

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Ta Da! Double update! Moo-yah! Anyone know where that is from? If you do, comment the commercial! And now I gave you a hint. But seriously, anyone know? And on another note, yay, Brielle's writing in her diary again! Should I continue the entries? Comment to let me know! I won't update until I know!!!! Probably not, but still! TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!