Rough Patch

4

Tyler Joseph

After saying good night to Ellie I go back to my room and lay down onto my bed next to Jenna.

"I'm very happy the way you handled things today." Jenna smiles as she puts down the book she's currently reading.

"I feel a little better after talking about it. Ellie wants me to come talk to her class about my job." I reply laying on my side to face her.

"Are you going to do it?"

"Of course. I was honored to be asked to do that so I'm going to. Tomorrow I'll try and plan what I'll say."

"Good plan but for right now let's go to sleep."

"That sounds great."

"Thank you! We are twenty one pilots and so are you! Good night!" I scream into the microphone. Josh and I walk off the stage as our fans screamed at the top of their lungs.

"That was a great show, Ty." Josh breathed running a towel over his face.

"It was great." I laugh back. Josh begins to walk in another direction other than the bus. I watch confusingly as he just leaves me standing there.

"Josh? Where are you going? The bus is always parked this way." I shout out.

"Have you forgotten already?" Josh replied as he stopped and turned around.

"Forgotten what? Am I missing something?"

"Well, I mean, it's something pretty big to me."

"Don't just stand there! Tell me, Josh! What am I missing?"

"Tyler, you're smart. You can do this. Think. Really really think."

"I am. I'm really really thinking! I have no clue why I'm getting so angry right now! I shouldn't be! This shouldn't be setting me off but it is! What is it Josh!"

"I can't tell you. You need to tell me. I can't say anything."

"You're saying stuff right now."

"Yeah I know but I can't say what you want me to say. You need to figure it out."

"This is killing me!" I scream. I pause. A word I just said made me think of something. But what word? Killing. Killing is the word. Killing reminds me of death. What does that have to do with anything?

I look up at Josh who's is still standing in place, the wind blowing his sweaty hair. I look at his face. The bags under his eyes are much more defined, almost droopy. His skin looked porcelain, fragile.

"You're dead. You aren't real. You're dead. How couldn't I have thought of this! You're dead! You're gone! You're never coming back! You're dead! You're dead! You're dead!" I scream loudly.

"Tyler. Tyler. Listen to me. Calm down. Tyler!"

I wake up and sit up fast. I'm breathing heavily and sweating. I feel tears streaming down my face. I look around the room I'm in. It's my room. I'm not in a street. I'm not outside. It was a dream.

"Tyler. It was a dream. You're okay." I hear Jenna's soothing voice say.

"What happened? What was that? He was right in front of me. I was talking to him. I was on stage performing." I breath.

"It was a dream. It's probably because today was the most you've talked about Josh since the accident."

"It was a dream."

"Yes. It was a dream. You're just fine."

"I'm sorry for waking you. I probably woke Ellie."

"No, she's fine. She sleeps like a rock. Why don't you try to get some more rest." Jenna says rubbing my back. I lay back on my side and close my eyes. There was no way I'd be falling back asleep. I look at the alarm clock. 5:00 AM. Ellie has to get up at 6:00 AM. I might as well just stay up. I get out of bed.

"Tyler? Where are you going?" Jenna asks tiredly.

"I can't get back to sleep. I'll take Ellie to school today. I have to get her up in an hour anyway so I'm going to go sit downstairs for a bit. Maybe have some coffee. Go back to sleep." I whisper.

I get downstairs and start to make some coffee. As I wait for the water to boil I walk over to look at the pictures I have. I go into the bottom left cabinet of the vanity in the living room and pull out a box. I set the box on the couch and go to grab my coffee.

I come back and sit down putting the coffee on the side table. I take a breath and open the box. I sift through the thousands of pictures. I take out a few that stand out to me. Some of these pictures were professionally taken at our shows. They were great but the ones that really stood out to me where all the selfies that I had of Josh and I. There were pictures of us laughing and smiling. It brought back so many memories.

I quickly put the pictures back and close the box when I felt a tear slip down my cheek.

I put the box back where I got it from and sat back on the couch and sipped my coffee. I look at the clock on the wall. 5:45.

I go into the kitchen and make a few waffles and bacon. By the time those were done I had to go get Ellie up and dressed.

I walk into her quiet, peaceful room and tap her lightly. I remembered she sleeps like a rock so I shake her a little more. She stirs in her sleep and rubs her eyes.

"Daddy?" Ellie says confused when she opens her eyes.

"Good morning. I'm going to take you to school today if that's alright. I even made you a special breakfast." I smile.

"Yay." Ellie tiredly smiles.

"Now why don't you tell me what you want to wear. I'm not very good and these girly things." Ellie laughs at me and gets out of bed to pick out her outfit. I stand back and watch as she sorts through different outfits and I smile as I watch her. I missed out on so much of her life because I was being depressed and not trying to get better. Now it's my time to be one of the biggest influences in her life.