Rough Patch

11

Jenna Joseph

After that day where Tyler started getting better and trying hard to be there for our daughter things began to go down hill. The next few days were okay. I let him be since I knew he did a lot and it was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting for him. I didn't say anything when he laid in bed all day and slept. I never said anything. But now, things haven't changed. He is still laying in bed and only getting up to use the bathroom and occasionally showering. It's been weeks. Pretty soon it'll be almost a month. 

I walk up to our room once I drop Ellie off at school. Sure enough, Tyler is still sleeping. I grab a pillow and wack him. 

"Wake up." I say. I sit on the edge of the bed. 

"Why'd you wack me?" Tyler mumbles.

"To see if that'll bring you back to your senses."

"Just leave me be for a while." 

"I let you be for almost 5 years, Tyler. And just when I think I'm getting my husband back you go back to how you were. I'm afraid I'm going to go back to being a single parent." 

"You were never a single parent, Jenna." Tyler says rolling his eyes. 

"Excuse me? Yes I was. Sure, you were in the same house but I did the laundry, I cooked, I cleaned, I drove our daughter to daycare and school. I entertained our daughter. I worked. While I did these countless amount of things you laid in this exact spot. Did you know that I cancelled our visit with our parents a few weeks ago? I did it because I thought you needed time but maybe I should've been tougher on you. Maybe I should've forced you to do something." I finish my speech and Tyler's eyes are shut.  "Are you freaking kidding me? Tyler!" I scream and slap him with the pillow again. He flutters his eyes open. "Were you seriously sleeping? I cannot believe you. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore." I sigh. I stand up and walk to my closet. I start throwing some of my clothes in a bag. Tyler isn't saying anything. I leave the room and go to Ellie's I start throwing some of her stuff in a bag too. I walk down stairs and leave, slamming the door on the way out. 

//..//

I dial my moms number. 

"Jenna? Hi!" My mom says in her typical energetic tone. 

"Hey mom." I say quietly. 

"How are you? Are you okay?" My mom asks and I begin to cry.

"No. Can Ellie and I come over for a little?" 

"Of course sweetie! You can explain to me when you get here. I'll see you soon." My mom says. I hang up and take a deep breath. I wipe my tears away and drive to pick up Ellie from school.

//..//

"Hi mommy!" Ellie says when she gets in the car.

"Hi Ellie!" I reply as cheery as possible. 

"Why is this back here?" Ellie asks to the bags.

"Well, I have a surprise! We are going to see grandma and grandpa for a little while!"

"Really! Yay! Is dad coming?"

"No, not this time. He has some things to do." 

"Oh. Okay. Is he still not feeling good." 

"Nope, he still is sick." I say softly. I feel the tears welling up but I keep them down. 

It's not a super long drive to my parents. Maybe 30 minutes. Ellie happily sang, or yelled, along to the radio that I had playing and I just tried to focus on a relaxing time with my parents. At least I hope it'll be relaxing. 

When we get to my parents house, I grab our bags and Ellie and I head inside. My mom greets us and my dad does the same after. My mom can tell right away that I was serious when I said I wasn't okay. 

"Why don't you and Grandpa go play in the toy room down stairs!" My mom says. Ellie loves their toy room so she rushes down stairs with my dad following. I follow my mom to the living room and I break down. She embraces me in a hug and then I sit down next to her on the couch.

"What happened, honey?" My mom asks. 

"It's Tyler. He's back to his old self. He had a great week or so and now It's back to how it was for the past 5 years. I have a feeling that it's going to be the same again." I cry.

"Did you tell him how you felt?"

"Of course I did! As I gave him a big speech this morning I realized he literally slept right through it. He doesn't listen to me. I've done all that I can. I can't continue being in a relationship like this. As I packed mine and Ellie's bag he said nothing." I explain. 

"Oh, Jenna. I'm so sorry it's like this for you."

"I'm sorry too. I love him so much but I feel like lately he doesn't love anyone."

"He still loves you even if he doesn't show it." 

"That's the thing. When I thought he was getting better he showed his love for me in many different ways but then a few weeks ago he became a whole other person. I seriously think I need to not be with him any more, no matter how much I hate saying it, It's true." 

"If you believe it's the best then you do what you think." 

"I just can't deal with this for a whole other 5 years. I barely made the first 5." 

"Well, if that's what you think you need to do, then you need to tell him." 

"Should I call him?"

"You can call him, or wait until you see him and tell him then. Or don't you have that video thing on your phone?"

"Yeah, facetime. I just don't think I can see his face right now. I think I'd rather call him. What should I say?" 

"Just explain how you feel and that you want to be separated. Don't say divorced because I think what you need right now is a separation to see how he will be in the future. Maybe this will make him realize he needs to change." 

"Okay. I'll do it now. I'm going to go in the backyard." I breathe. 

I step out in the back yard and pace around as the phone rings. On the 4th ring, he picks up.

"Jenna? Where are you?" Tyler answers.

"It doesn't matter. I have Ellie right now. I just called to let you know I want a separation." I explain as my voice cracks saying the last part.

"A what?"

"A separation. I can't be with you the way you are right now and how you've been for the last 5 years."

"I don't want to be divorced from you. I want to be with you." 

"I never said divorce, Tyler. I said separation." 

"Jenna, please. I can change." 

"No, I don't think you can. I think you are going to be the same. I think you'll  change for a few weeks and then it'll be back to how it's been. I'm sorry Tyler." 

"You can't take my daughter from me." 

"Tyler, you haven't acted like a dad to her for most of her life." 

"I'm just as much a parent to her as you are."

"You're her father but I don't think you are fit to be her dad until you can prove you can change for good." 

"Jenna..." Tyler says as his voice breaks."

"I'm sorry, Tyler." I hang up and I cover my mouth with my hand. I feel the tears slip down my cheek and I have to sit down on the grass. I knew this was the right thing for me but my heart was telling me it was wrong. 

/////////

Authors note:

Sorry for the very long delay in updating! I hope you'll forgive me!