Rough Patch

19

Tyler Joseph

I woke up feeling extra creative today. I woke up at 4 am with my mind swimming in countless lyrics. I quietly got out of bed and made my way down to my studio. I went to my computer to start adding the lyrics in my mind into a word document. After writing down all I could think of, I sat back in my chair and looked up at my newly framed pictures. The photo in the middle was of Jenna and I at our wedding. The photo to the right of that photo was of Ellie and the one to the left was of our unborn babies ultrasound. I smiled and went back to typing out more thoughts that I was having. 

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I felt like I was down here for only five minutes but it was obviously much longer because the door to my studio opened bringing in a stream of bright light from the basement. I squinted at the sudden brightness and see Jenna standing there smiling. 

"Good morning, early bird." Jenna says. 

"Good morning. I hope I didn't wake you." I say. 

"How could you have waken me? It's sound proof down here." Jenna giggled.

"What time is it?"

"About 8. I already brought Ellie to school. I just got back." 

"You already brought her to school? I could've done that! I was already up." 

"I didn't want to disturb you. You were obviously in a very creative mood." 

"I was. I woke up at 4 am with so many thoughts and ideas that I had to write down."

"I'm so proud of you, Ty. I know you still struggle internally but you are showing so much more of the Tyler that I married and fell in love with. I'm so proud of how far you've come and I'm sorry for being hard on you but look where you are now."

"I'm glad you were tough on me. You really made me come to my senses. I feel so much better now that I'm writing again and now that I had a proper goodbye with Josh." 

"It's only going to get better from here on out. I'll leave you alone now. I want you to keep on creating."

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I had finished my work for the day, or at least for a few hours. I filled up so many word document pages with my ideas for songs and all of my thoughts for lyrics. I was proud of what I had accomplished for today and I was ready to spend some time with Jenna and go to pick up Ellie from school. 

I walk upstairs and see Jenna sitting on the couch looking out at the snow that was lightly falling. I sat down next to her. She looked up at me and smiled. I put my hand on her stomach.

"I can't believe that we are going to have another baby in a few months." I smile.

"I know. It was a very lovely surprise. I think it'll be good for us. And it'll be good for Ellie to learn responsibility." Jenna replied.

"Plus, she's going to become a big sister and have a built in best friend." 

"I just can't wait until we can find out the gender." 

"When can we find out the gender?" 

"Well, since I'm 3 almost 4 months my OBGYN said we can find out at our next visit which is going to be next week but I think I want to be surprised and do a gender reveal so maybe your sister can come with and find out the gender first and then she can set up a gender reveal party so we can find out!" Jenna said super excited.

"I think she would be overly happy to do that." 

"I have to call her and ask." Jenna gets up and runs to get her cell phone in the kitchen. I hear her talking to my sister and they were planning what the gender reveal would look like. I decided to go upstairs and get dressed for the day. I scanned my closet for some type of sweatshirt to wear. I pulled on a black one what read "Josh's Best Fren." I felt my heart drop a little but it wasn't like how I used to feel whenever someone would mention Josh. It was more like a sad but happy feeling. I remember wearing this sweatshirt and all the good times we had together. I push it back into my closet and keep searching until I decide on a plain gray hoodie. I pull that on along with a pair of my normal black skinny jeans. I also grab a beanie since it looked pretty cold out. I then went to look in the mirror and saw my gross, scraggly stubble that was growing. I did not like how I looked with it. I looked old and gross. I took my razor and shaved. It felt so freeing to do that. I finish getting ready and head back down stairs. Jenna was doing dishes in the kitchen so she didn't see me right away. I sat at the kitchen island and she looked up. 

"Oh my word! You look so cute!" Jenna giggled. She came over to me and kept feeling my face. 

"You like it?" I ask. 

"I love it! Your face is so smooth and clean." She continued to rub her hands all over my face which was making me laugh. She was so adorable especially when it came to these sort of things. She has her little quirks and things she likes about me but she won't tell me them. I obviously know the things she likes because when I do them she gets overly excited, like how she is about me shaving. She likes when I don't have any stubble, she likes me clean shaven. 

"Alright alright. I get it." I laugh. Jenna backs away. 

"You clean up real nice, Mr. Joseph." Jenna says.

"I'm only wearing a sweatshirt and jeans and a beanie." 

"Yeah but with you being so clean shaven you look so good! And you make a sweatshirt and jeans look like it's being worn by a model."