Color Blind

Womanhood

Around the time I turned 14 became the worst year for me. Everything on my body was growing and it was scary. I was becoming a woman and I was afraid every time I walked out of the cabin. From the other slaves, Chris and sometimes Mista John I was complimented on how pretty a slave I was. So women hated me and the men gave me looks I wasn't ready for. My hair was long because of my birth mother having Indian in her blood. It was a  mess sometimes, but my length just made it curly. My skin was a dark bronzed brown color that had a glow to it, my breasts were round and perky and my butt was seated high against my back, my thighs were smooth and thick and my hips, as Mista John would say were made for birthing babies. My lips were pink and plump, I had a small button nose and slanted doe eyes that my dark brown eyes peered from. Yet to my daddy I was no where as beautiful as my ten year old sister Journey. She had long curly dirty blonde hair, bronzed skin and a boys body. She was still a child though so I figured she'd grow into her womanhood one day. I awoke one morning feeling a horrible pain in my stomach that made me cry out. Chris was by my side in a second so I wouldn't wake Journey or daddy.

"Wat's wrong Vanna" I let tears slip from my eyes, which I've tried countless times to not let happen. Crying was for the weak.

"Hurt....so......bad" Chris pulled the sheets off me to check my stomach and made a weird sound as he looked from me to the sheets and back again.

'You hurt" I looked at him with a weird expression as I looked down and saw my gown and sheets covered in blood. I screamed worried that I was dying. I had done nothing but wish to die for the past four years. Was it coming true?

"Tha hell all dat noise ova dere for" I heard Papa yell as he got up to make his way over to us. I got so scared I was shaking. Chris held my hand and looked up at Papa with a hard expression.

"Is she dying" He asked with a strong voice. Chris was 17 years now, pretty much a man, but the fear in his voice made him sound like a child.

"Is she dying, boy yous too innocent, ya ain't seen no lil nigga girl have her woman time, Vanna a woman now" I frowned, I didn't want to be a woman.

"Vanna go clean yoself and them sheets" I nodded as I got up with Chris help. I moved his hands away from as I grabbed my sheets and went out into the cold night air down to the lake. I didn't want this, I knew I wasn't ready. I didn't want no babies, especially by Mista John. I let a few tears slip as I washed the blood from my sheets and then pulled off my shift and cleaned the blood of it and myself.

"Catch him boss, dere he is" I quickly put my wet white shift back on as I heard voices coming towards me. All of a sudden a tall figure almost as big as my brother ran past me. He stopped for a moment and smiled at me before he jumped into the water.

"Ay girl, where dat boy get too" A white man i had never seen before asked as he tried to catch his breath. I was shocked as I couldn't say anything to him.

"You deaf gal, answer me" I just looked at him still confused as he huffed and ran the other way. All of a sudden I heard a loud breathing noise next to me and turned to see a beautiful black man. His skin was like caramels candies, the water glistened off his face and the moonlight shone on him as if he was a God. As he stood up I admired his body. He wasn't super muscular or built like daddy, but he had muscles and a strong stature.

"Thanks for not ratting me out, had to get away from him" I nodded my head still too much in shock as he sat next to me.

"Why you running, only go make him hurt you worse"

"Hurt me, doll he wanna t kill me, his lil gal like ha some black men, I got a thing for fucking wit him" I nodded my head as I stood up to rinse out my sheets.

"Somebody hurt you" he asked as he saw the blood leaking down my leg again. I shook my head no as I got back in the water.

"Daddy says I's a woman now" He laughed at me and then got back in the water with me.

"You a beautiful one too" I looked into his eyes and my heart started pumping overtime. what was happening to me. I touched my heart as I looked away from him.

"You okay gal" I shook my head no and was about to get out of the water when he pulled me back and told me to hold my breath as he pulled me under again.

"Vanna, Vanna, where you at gal" I pushed away from the stranger as I went to my brother who looked very worried.

"I though somethin bad happened, why you playin " I shook my head as I pointed towards the water where the stranger was coming out of. Chris narrowed his eyes and looked angry.

"Da hell you do ta my sister" The stranger just smiled and shook his head. As he walked over to us he looked at me with the same look Mista John gave me sometime.

"Nothing brother, just tryin to hide from that white man"

"It's you dey lookin fa, you got it comin to ya" my brother yelled back as he pulled me after him.

"My sheets Chris" I let go of him and ran to get my sheets when all of a sudden three white guys came out, one of them being Percy. I wouldn't lie to myself, Percy had grew up to be very handsome, but he was evil, more evil than anyone I had ever see before.

"Well, well, well, why ain't I surprised to see ya'll helpin this criminal" to say that Percy and Chris hated each other wouldn't be able to cover their true feelings. They sometimes looked as if they wanted to kill each other. Percy was just like his father, only he went around raping all the little black girls he could. He hadn't got to me yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time.

"dey ain't helpin me" Percy frowned and I could see smoke coming from his nostrils making him look like a bull.

"How dare ya talk back ta me" The stranger smiled and I looked at Chris confused.

"Oh, I's so sorry mister, forgive my negro words, would ya" He said in a tone that was making Percy even madder.

"You gal come here" I knew he was talking to me and as I walked towards him my brother pulled me back.

"Leave ha alone Percy"

"What ya call me nigga, just cause we got da same daddy, don't make us da same" I was shaking now I was so scared. I knew what Percy wanted and I knew he would hurt them to get it.

"Chris I's okay, go home" I pulled away from him to get to Percy when the stranger pulled me back this time.

"Boy is ya crazy, he kill you if ya keep messin bout"

"Let him, you ain't his, I'm clamin ya" I shook my head at this crazy stranger when another voice added to the mix.

"Percy why you still out here, dad said get your ass home" I looked at Percy's older brother and for the second time today my heart started beating wildly out of my chest. Percy's older brother Johnathan, was beautiful. Bright blue eyes, perfect pouty lips and his body looked as if he had done some labor in his life. I knew he had just came back from the war and it showed. Percy decided to stay home and be spoiled while Johnathan was everything he wasn't.

"You okay gal" I was confused until i realized he was talking to me. He smiled for a moment and then frowned at his brother.

"Go home Percy" Percy frowned but did as he was told but not before giving me a look that had me shaking. The stranger let me go and I ran back to Chris side.

"Chris get her home, she's freezing" Chris was about to argue when he saw he was right. Johnathan grabbed my wet sheets and gave them to me.

"you okay" I nodded and he smiled again before two guys came back around one hit the stranger in the head so hard he fell out. My heart hurt as I thought of what they would do to him, but I couldn't think of anything else as my brother picked me up and I passed out in his arms.